Ore no Imōto ga Konna ni Kawaii Wake ga Nai 3 (True Route)
by RecolitusMorbus
Summary: She'd made the worst decision in her life. "...shall we end it here, as promised?" Why did she do that? Why did he agree? They could never be the same now that they knew the truth. With no way to reset the past, how will can they live with these thoughts, feelings, urges...? Probably, the only way they know how. — Rated M because you know why.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Ore no Imōto ga Konna ni Kawaii Wake ga Nai in any conceivable way. This is a work of fan-made fiction. Obviously.

**Forward**: This is an attempt to fix the stain that was put on this fantastic series. To show the franchise, network, and the Japanese government that I know better. Sadly, it's come to my attention that law had forced the author's hand in the end his series the way he did—I feel nothing but sadness for Fushimi Tsukasa.

_This work takes place after the events of the Season 2 finale, and is not an adaptation of the light novel series._

* * *

I

_My Brother Can't Know I Miss Him!_

Shortly after my sixteenth birthday, Kyousuke was gone.

The boy I'd gotten to know and love only over the last two years was off to university. It was funny to think of him as an adult, but he was nineteen—Mr. Kousaka had a bit of a ring to it. Funnily enough, Kyousuke followed that creepy Miura Gennosuke (I'm so glad I only met him the once; I had only met him once, right?) into video game design and development. It seemed I made a lasting impression with my "eroge." You know that's all math, right? I'd reminded him; he only laughed and claimed he'd gotten a decent grasp on math, the liar. Before he climbed into Otou-san's car, my brother promised to call or text me, daily. That there wouldn't be a difference with the communication that he promised me. No more Cold Wars.

I'm not quite sure what happened.

It started as promised, a call every night, a text to ask how I was and how summer break was going. When my high school's first year, second trimester came around, we understandably started to lose touch. I know my work load was crazy; I barely found time for my eroge habit with my studies and track practice and modeling. He's told me about his course load once, but it seemed so trivial I suppose I would have had to experience it to understand. But, as Summer turned to Autumn, I started getting fewer and fewer texts. Fewer phone calls. Soon, he was calling me once a week. Then, two weeks. An email once in a while.

Things kind of just...stopped.

_...shall we end it here, as promised?_

I always get tired when I think of that day, now. Well, the end of our pseudo-wedding, anyway. It used to make my heart flutter: the pair of us dressed for a proper wedding. A beautiful, flowing wedding gown for me. A handsome white suite and soft blue tie for him. We were really cute; that image still makes me smile like an idiot, even now. When I remember our kiss, I melt a little inside sometimes giggling like a pervert with glazed-over eyes. It was my first. I'm so happy it was Kyousuke!

But, that promise I mentioned...

That's what made me oppressively tired. Like someone threw a futon on me and I just... _Bleh._

Often times, think about why I had Kyousuke and I make that promise; I'm pretty sure that's the reason he stopped talking to me. ...I was scared, I think. Terrified. I mean, what if Okaa-san had found out? Or, better yet, what would have Otou-san done to Kyousuke _when_ he discovered us? At the least, Kyousuke would have been thrown out, disowned by our father; Otou-san'd try to bar me from seeing him. I could have gotten around that easily, though. No, it was the unknown that had me petrified. I remember what Kyousuke's face looked like after he claimed responsibility for my R18 _Love With Little Sister!_ disk hidden in that _Stardust✩Witch Meruru_ DVD case.

I'd also thought about our ties with our friends. Kanako might have understood, I think; her sister did write some pretty raunchy doujinshi. Ayase would have tried to kill Kyousuke to protect me—though, I wonder what she'd think of me for saying yes to him, having those feelings for him? In the end, I feel that, while not condoning it, Ayase would accept it because I was happy. My brother and I had been grateful when Ruri and Saori had come to support us, but I had an idea that they'd find nothing _expressly_ wrong with us. They'd fought tooth and nail to see it through, so why wouldn't they be ok with it? They were confused when we broke the news to them that day we all gathered to meet the new girl, Kishimajo (her Internet handle). Luckily, she'd missed her train and arrived forty minutes after us. We—no, Kyousuke thought it was best to not alienate the new girl. In the end, Saori and Kuroneko said they understood, but I couldn't really read their expressions. Honestly, it was probably why the entire mood of the meeting was sour by the time Kishimajo arrived. And the new girl's subsequent disinterest in meeting back up again.

There were other considerations, of course. We couldn't have gotten legally married, and that was something that I'd wanted since I was a little girl: a massive wedding with hundreds of people and flowing white gown and a huge cake and—it wouldn't have ever happened. That fantasy only ever had Kyousuke in it, and the thought of another man taking his place just served to piss me off. Even when I was a little girl, I'd put his face on the groom's body. And then there was... Well, I'd wanted...children. I don't know how I thought that would happen when I was a little girl, but as I started to explore my eroge the image of Kyousuke...

Of my brother...

O-on t-top of...

_Gah!_ The things I wanted from my own brother! They were indecent to even think let alone say, but I wanted them all the same. Whenever I thought about him, late at night, a heat would pool at the nexus of my hips and I had to use every ounce of power to resist touching myself. But, I would trembled with pleasure when I would rub my thighs together; I let myself have that much. Once we were no longer lovers (heh, we didn't even understand the word we were so ready to use), my will against the forbidden started to decay. Pictures of things I wanted most, things a sister shouldn't ever want of her brother, flooded my mind and drowned my resolve in need. He touched me...kissed me...did _things_ to me I'm too embarrassed to admit even to myself sober. I felt drunk at those times, not that I knew what being drunk was like. We went the distance. We broke barriers. In the end, I touched myself regularly to my fantasies. I'd rush my eroge sometimes just to replace the protagonist with Kyousuke and the heroine with myself during the intimate animation; when he would lay with the heroine, Kyousuke would take me in the same fashion.

Ah... Around now, my face and neck would be flushed, my breath short, and my eyes distant—Kuroneko called me out on it once and I almost had to kill her because I was so embarrassment. I wonder if I'm sick? I don't think I am. I wouldn't see a doctor either way, but I am curious.

But, shortly after the fantasies, tingling, and twitching faded away, I was always left exhausted and alone. I wasn't satisfied, normally. I'd just have that futon laid on me and I would let it happen. I'd rather bask in the afterglow, though I'm sure thats the truth with anyone.

There wasn't any way in hell that we were going to be regular siblings again. What was I _thinking?_

I thought I was doing the right thing, I guess. He'd broken so many hearts to tell me how he felt. Ruri, Ayase, Kanako... Even his friend, the plain gir— ...Manami. He was without his closest childhood friend, now. Manami turned out to be his sister in the end (emotionally, that is) and that wasn't enough for her. I think I would have felt the same—right now, I'd blush uncontrollably at how childish I'd been flaunting our relationship in her face; gueh, too embarrassing. After she and I kicked the absolute shit out of one another, Manami called us disgusting and she was gone. He did all of that...for me.

So—

...why doesn't he call me anymore?

* * *

_He's seeing someone._

The thought was like a hydrogen bomb that shook my consciousness for a moment. Had it been any other time, it would have been ok. But, when do things happen when you want them, right? It couldn't have come the worst time, honestly.

There was a shout. A command, maybe? It was so far away that it made nonsense to me.

Girls around me exploded off of their starting positions a second faster than I could process the situation. It was then I understood what that shouting was: _the starting mark._ (_Holy shit; I'm at track._) I wasn't even prepared to launch myself down the track. It was stupid of me to do this, but in a sloppy attempt to recover, I put all of my power into my legs. Normally, I would have waited diligently for the starting mark, keeping my body at the ready. I'd been too relaxed, lost in that sudden and terrible epiphany. That power surged through my muscles and into my ankle as I was trying to set it up for a proper takeoff. It forced my left foot (my starting foot) to roll outward with all my strength. It's a great way to hurt yourself, you should try it.

It didn't even take a second for me to find myself looking up at the sun. The pain came on just as I came to a stop. White hot fire blasted its way up my shin and calf and into my heel and the soul of my foot. By some feet of physical impossibilities I can't explain, found myself four meters down the track, sprawled out across the rubbery ground. I'm pretty sure that's just short of the 50m I was supposed to sprint.

That's what I get for daydreaming.

Faces clouded my vision, casting harsh shadows across me that flickered striking sunbeams into my eyes as they shifted and moved—it started to piss me off. Thinking about it, I hurt a lot, so pain mixed with disorienting light wasn't helping my mood. It was all too surreal, though. I could hear their whispers: _She wasn't supposed to spill like that. She was Kirino,_ the _Kirino. She didn't _fall._ She never got hurt because she was always on top of her game. What happened? Someone must of pushed her._ I'm not one to brag but I'd already made quite a name for myself at the high school; some of the students from my old middle school came to the same campus and my popularity exploded like an algae bloom in the middle of August.

The more people stood over me, the more pissed I got.

"_Damnit!_ Is someone going to help me up or what?" I snapped.

They scrambled to get me to my feet after that. Being popular has its perks.

Some girls helped me to the infirmary and I got my ankle iced and wrapped. No broken bones, just a badly sprained ankle. I was embarrassed and didn't really talk. More so huffed. They understood, though, and wished me well before heading back to practice. I was glad that most of the school had cleared out by then and the boys hadn't started swarming me with their disgusting, unwanted affection.

"Kirino?" A familiar face stuck her head around the door frame to look for me.

Aragaki Ayase was beautiful. Her hair was dark and had a blue tinge to it; the created contrast her dark hair and pearl white skin was something to envy. And her _eyes_: they were as dark as her hair, graced with the same dark-blue tint. Sometimes, when I'm alone, I gape at the idea that Kyousuke rejected her. ...Well, she had her violent times, and that would be enough to chase anyone away. Honestly, though, my brother wasn't so shallow as to solely like someone on their looks—not that he wasn't attracted to pretty girls like Ayase. I mean, he'd confessed how beautiful he thought I was constantly when we were dating—but...he'd grown a fondness for her. I would hate her a little forever because of that.

Hey, friends can hate friends for little things like that!

"Kirino," she muttered in relief, stepping out into full view.

That _body!_ Something else to be jealous of. Ayase had turned sixteen a month or so before I had, and was already growing into her adult figure. Where before we were of the same modest bust and measurements (as womanly as we already were for young, teenage girls), Ayase had become a bit more shapely than I: A larger bust with a slim waist and an appropriate pair of hips to match. Nothing over the top, but the ideal size and shape in every detail. I hadn't realized it until, once when we're at a shoot about a month before, she (quite embarrassed, I might add) informed me that we weren't able to trade clothes anymore. Her breasts, those curves, that face and voice... Why did Kyousuke say no to _that?_

...Why'd he say yes to me?

"Are you ok?" Ayase asked, her hand hovering close her lips in worry. She was so cute almost all the time; you know, when she wasn't a psychopath threatening to kill people with that blank, intense stare. She sat down in a chair next to the bed and frowned at my bandaged ankle. After a moment, she looked up at me and took my hand into hers. "How'd it happen?"

It took me a long moment to reply.

Tell the truth? Or lie? A small part of me wanted to lie and sweep it all underneath the rug. It was only a fraction of me that wanted to, and the remaining whole crushed the opposition with a healthy dose of self loathing. Ayase deserved better than lies, because it seemed her family life was full of them. The truth it was, then. I don't know how I got to telling the truth so often, but it was a habit I wanted to reinforce. Maybe it was Kyousuke who got me started; I know that he would give me a proud smile whenever I would speak the truth.

But, the truth made me tired. I thought I was tired before when I'd hurt myself, but that oppressive futon returned and draped itself over me. I felt my shoulder slump a little, my eyelids becoming weighted. All of my troubles seemed to compound into a single feeling: overwhelming and domineering exhaustion. It wasn't fair. Thinking of Kyousuke used to bring me so much happiness. When did he make me so... I can't even think of a proper word for it. Not depressed—I'm fucking Kousaka Kirino. Kousaka Kirino _never_ gets depressed. The absence of the proper word in my vocabulary started to piss me off. There _had_ to be a word for what I was feeling. I longed for him. If I could, I'd have him sitting where Ayase was, holding my hand and looking at me with those dark eyes and that handsome smile. My heart fluttered at the thought.

_Damn... I miss him._

The flutter disappeared.

"I was distracted," I admitted. That was the truth. Not the _whole_ truth. But the truth.

"This isn't like you, Kirino," my best friend said softly. She bit her lip and chewed for a moment in thought. Ayase was always so worried about me. "Is something wrong?"

Do I tell her the rest of the truth? I probably should. I remember the last time I tried to lie, and I was already never good at it. She also knew that I'd gotten closer to Kyousuke and that we were as close as normal siblings could get, despite how much of a siscon pervert she claimed him to be. Not that I was any better with my brocon fantasies. So, if I told her the truth (with the right wording) it wouldn't be too weird. Right? Just insinuate that I missed him as a sister. It was the truth without the entire package of jumbled emotions attached.

Just a little sister missing her big brother.

_What a fucking lie._

"I miss Kyousuke," I murmured, looking down at my empty hand resting on my lap. Simple and straight to the point. Not that I want to talk to her about it.

Ayase's expression changed slightly. The concern was there, but she'd adopted a sorrowful look that said she understood. Well, I knew she did. Even after she said goodbye, I could see that he was on her mind a lot. We didn't sit too far away from one another in class, and when the lessons became slow, I'd watch her slip away and paint that sad look on her pretty face. It created a strange problem for her: the boys in class would swarm her desk during breaks to see if she were alright, to which she would make some excuse as to what she was thinking. They did the same to me, but I wasn't so pleasant with them: expletives were often used, as well as the threat of violence if my acidic gaze didn't set them straight; they kept coming back, though, because boys are stupidly masochistic. When I would finally beat the horde back, I always found myself wanting to shout at her to stop thinking of my brother—he was mine and no one else's. But, she couldn't know that.

She squeezed my hand. "Doesn't he call? I thought he said he would keep in contact."

"He... I..." The world felt suddenly heavier.

I felt weird. My throat choked up, and my eyes burned with sudden and unwanted tears. I had to suppress a swelling sob that threatened to escape my mouth. I rubbed them away angrily, sucking in a harsh breath to swallow that lump down. Something blistered under my skin and boiled up inside me. I was angry in record time. How could Kyousuke do this to me? Make me choke up in front of my friends and force me to sidestep their questions? Make me so absent minded that I hurt myself doing what I love? Running was supposed to be an escape for me, and Kyousuke was butting into it. The tears failed to stop and started running down my cheeks; the embarrassment made me grit my teeth added fuel to the growing bonfire. My body shudder with rage. I wanted to beat him to death in that one instant. I don't even understand how I got so angry. It just happened; I hadn't ever thought ill of him once until then.

Ayase squeezed my hand again, affectionately miserable, bringing me back. Oh, God, I hoped she couldn't see what I really felt.

I forced myself to calm down. "I haven't heard from him in three weeks."

"What?" Ayase looked like she hadn't heard me correctly, tilting her head a little. Her brow knitted itself in confusion, trying to work out what I said. "But, he said he'd call you everyday. Or text you. Or something."

"He won't respond to me," I said looking back at my hand in her's.

The girl pulled her hand away, sitting straight up. It was so sudden that it made me jump slightly. I snapped my eyes back to her's. She set me off kilter for a moment. That anguished face was gone, replaced by righteous anger. "He hasn't talked to you at all? No call, no text, no nothing?"

I eyed her strangely. What had gotten into her?

"He calls my parents every Friday to tell them he's alive and hangs up a minute later." I could feel my own anger welling up inside me again. As I spoke, I felt myself begin to tremble. Had I been this angry at him all along and _just now_ realized it? It felt like it from the ferocity of my emotion. "When my mother asks if he wants to talk to me, he gives some lame-ass excuse and hangs up. The entire call lasts a minute! It really pissed me off!"

_Really pisses me off seems_ a little tame in retrospect.

Ayase sat rigidly, hands clasped to fists and pressed into her lap. She'd crossed into a strange expression of fury that I hadn't quite seen before. Perhaps I had when she saw my "discomfort" listening to boys speak about their "perverted" eroge. When she would become deathly angry with Kyousuke, normally over my purity, her face was slacken and her eyes would glaze over. I'd thought I'd seen all of her expressions of wrath, but I couldn't describe this one. "Kirino. I'm sorry, but I have to go. I will can your parents so that they may pick you up, ok?"

Ayase's response extinguished the indignant flare in me almost immediately.

I was suddenly scare for Kyousuke.

"O-oh. Okay."

I watched her with confusion as my friend stood and left. When I was alone, even with the nurse and school physician having taken a break, I cried. Out of frustration. Out of anger. Out of loneliness. Out of heartache.

My father picked me up within the hour.

* * *

The drive was short and quiet. I was given a crutch at the infirmary and Otou-san had helped me down the the flight of stairs to get me outside, but he didn't speak. His eyes looked strange, though, as if that hard samurai that ruled our house with an iron fist had emotions that I was unaware of. When we arrived home, and he was helping me up, he spoke.

"I am pleased that you are alight, Kirino."

I didn't know what to say or do, so I nodded and followed him inside.

Okaa-san poured her love and worry onto me, which felt like a waterfall compared to the single rain drop of silent, stoic concern my father had expressed. My mother fixed me some of my favorite foods that night to try and make me feel better. After dinner, Otou-san helped me into my room and saw that I was alright before leaving me to myself.

As the afternoon turned to night, I allowed myself to I lie on my bed without purpose, clutching my pillowed dolls to my chest. I was exhausted. I hadn't cried like I had in the infirmary in some time. The exhaustion that came with thoughts of Kyousuke was set deep into my heart. I just didn't want to move or talk. Around this time, I'd be on the phone with Kanako or Ayase talking about the school gossip. Maybe, I'd be talking to Kuroneko and arguing with her over her _terrible_ taste in anime and manga fandoms. Maybe Saori about new releases or good eroge to look for. On the rare occasion that I wasn't on the phone, I'd be face deep in one of the few new eroge I'd bought not too long ago (face drooling and knees rubbing together; and I say I'm not a pervert); I still used Kyousuke's name for deliveries, not so much out of necessity as for nostalgia. Not tonight. I was far too... _Bleh._

I closed my eyes. Even with the futon draped over me, I allowed myself to float where my consciousness took me. I set my mind adrift to find peace. I started thinking of—

"_Brd-rd-rd!_"

_Vrrr-vrrr._

My phone range, doing it's vibrating dance on my nightstand. I was too tired to reach for it, but it kept ringing. Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring. It felt like the longest missed call in the world. Just stop already. It did what I asked and stopped. I frowned, closing my eyes and returning to my thoughts.

Of—

"_Brd-rd-rd!_"

_Vrrr-vrrr._

"Ohmygod, _whaaaat._" I rolled over and grappled for my phone over the uncomfortable distance. It took me a little bit, but soon I slid it off of the nightstand and looked at the screen.

Kyousuke.

My heart jumped into my throat. I wasn't tired anymore. No, my soul was ablaze with purpose. My heart thrummed loudly in my ears and tried to break through my chest. I madly swiped at my phone, desperately trying to get it to answer the phone. Finally, the sensor picked up on my panicked attempts and answered.

"Kyousuke?" I blurted out hurriedly, stupidly.

God, why did I sound so _dumb?_

"_Kirino!_" his voice replied. He sounds relieved.

My heart stopped beating for a moment when he said my name. I felt cared for in that second and that I would be better afterward. I didn't remember it being so deep. It sounded as if he had changed a bit, but it was still purely Kyousuke. It was so sexy. So manly. It was handsome, though I wasn't sure how. Despite it belonging to the big brother I knew him to be—Kyousuke the dim, stupid, idiotic brother who screwed up every major event that happened between us, who was a general waste of time and space—it exuded a masculinity that I hadn't known I even wanted. Maybe it was because none of the boys at school even came close to possessing such a tenor. I hadn't even heard it in his voice when he was still living with us. Where did he get it?

"_Kirino, are you ok?_"

I opened my mouth to answer him.

_No. Nonononono. I'm pissed at you._

"_Kirino?_"

"_Oh_, no—fuck you!" I shouted and hung up the phone.

It didn't feel very satisfying to jab my finger into the glass where End sat.

He called back. I hit ignore. He called back again. I ignored him. We danced like that for ten minutes, my renewed anger from earlier boiling inside of me speeding my hand to shut him down as many times as I could. Ever call he made, the angrier I got, his attempts fueling my fury and validating my position. I wanted to ignore him until the world ended. He didn't have the right to speak to me! He should have kept calling me if he wanted my attention, that asshole. But, _no_—he had better things to do. Hanging out with other people. With _girls_, probably.

He probably had a fucking _girlfriend._

I reached for the ignore symbol and fumbled the phone in my haste. I answered his phone call instead of ignoring it.

"_Kirino! Wait!_"

My thumb hovered over the End button.

"_I'm sorry I haven't called! I'm sorry. I... I'm sorry that I didn't text you or email you. I'm sorry I haven't responded to your messages._" There was a long pause. I felt my heart clinging to my thumb, struggling not to hit End and listen to his stupid excuse. I felt as if I were about to tumble off a cliff and only his words would pull me back. "_Things are...difficult, now. Complicated. I... Kirino, I don't have time to explain, but I promise we'll talk soon._"

I stared at my phone. I realized tears we're running down my cheeks again. I hated them and wished I couldn't cry anymore. I put the phone to my ear.

"You're lying," I hissed. I could feel the acid dripping from my words. The tears I'd tries to hold back started to fall down my face. "Don't you tell me that you're going to call me back. That we'll '_talk soon_'. If you want me to listen to you, you better tell me right now. You won't get a second chance. _Aniki._"

I wasn't aware you could say that word scathingly.

His hesitation was an indication of the received message.

"_I—_"

Some loud, horrible noise garbled the signal and forced me to wrench the phone from my ear.

"_Shit—Kirino. I want to tell you. I do. God, do I want to explain, but I can't. I have to go,_ right now."

_Clrickh._

_Beep-beep-beep._

He hung up.

That asshole hung up. On me.

Slowly, my hand dropped to my lap. My arm felt heavy; my phone felt like it weighed a thousand pounds. I felt my heart plummet into the pit of my stomach. A cold washed over me and all I could do was stare at the hardwood floor in front of me. I didn't feel a futon on me anymore. No, it felt as if I were being through into the sun and the gravity was crushing me into a single layer of atoms across its surface. I hadn't known I'd cried until the next morning.

* * *

"_Did Kyousuke get in touch with you?_"

"Yeah."

"_...Did he say anything?_"

"No. Not really. He just said that he'd call me back soon."

"_Is that it?_"

"...He apologized. For not calling or anything."

"_That...asshole! And then he just hangs up?_"

"Yeah. There was a loud noise. I think it was music or something. He was out, I guess."

"_...Kirino... I, uh. If it makes any difference, I think he's probably following your wishes._"

"What?"

"_No dating other girls._"

"Oh."

"_...You're not convinced?_"

"No, it just doesn't matter. He's in college. And, it's weird for him to listen to what I want. I'm his sister."

"_I-I suppose._"

"We don't have to talk about it."

"_N-no, I want to talk. ...Do you?_"

"Not really."

"_Oh, okay. Well, I'll be by tomorrow to see how you're doing._"

"What?"

"_Tomorrow's Sunday. It's our day off._"

"Oh. Yeah, sure. I can't wait."

"_Kirino?_"

"Yeah, Ayase?"

"_I'm sorry._"

* * *

Kyousuke didn't call me back.

I waited for a few weeks, feeling more stupid with each passing day. I found myself waiting with my phone in hand at the same time that Kyousuke had called, hoping that he'd contact me.

Weeks turned to months.

I was running again. We won meet after meet, my heart and soul put into each event to fill the gaps. I charged past my competition, in pracitce and at the heats, and was finding myself within reach to be back on top. School was challenging again, and I allowed my obsession to be the top mark of my class engulf me; Otou-san's agreement only gave me something else to conquer. Modeling ate up the rest of my time, keeping my bank account filled with cash; not that I was using it as much as I used to. On Sundays, I would mostly see Kanako and Ayase; sometimes, I would meet up with Kuroneko and Saori and we would talk and laugh and go full out otaku. The days we didn't meet, we would text or call; much of the same arrangement as before. Not much else happened. It wasn't long until my second trimester was coming to a close.

Late Autumn.

It was getting cold, again.

Kyousuke didn't really contact my mother or father anymore. It affected my parents strangely. At dinner, Okaa-san would sit at the table and stare at Kyousuke's empty seat, lost in thought. Otou-san would glance up at his son's vacant place before him, watch it for a few moments as if to see it would move on its own, then continue eating his food.

One time, after looking at the empty seat, he reached out and grasped my mother's hand. She snapped out of her daze, startled, and smiled sadly at my father. She squeezed his hand and started eating again. It was the most affection that I'd ever remembered seeing Otou-san display since I was a small child. It was sweet and terribly sad at the same time. It moved me to finish my dinner quickly so that I could return to my room. I didn't want to choke to death in front of my parents.

That night, after I'd cleared my plate and excused myself, I closed the living room door and stood still. I was lost in a wish that Kyousuke would run me over, carelessly barging down the stares as he almost always did. I wanted him to jump up from his place on the floor to rush to my aide. I wanted to yell at him and kick him for it and the laugh about it when my temper had cooled. I could see it then, plain as day and perfectly us.

"Have you heard anything from him?" Okaa-san's voice asked, small and tired.

"...No," he lamented, also tired. "I tried calling him yesterday."

"And?"

"I was planning on giving him a lecture, to him on keeping family close and informed... But, when he picked up, he apologized before I could begin and disconnected."

There was a pause. I leaned my head back, eyes to the ceiling trying to hear more.

"Do you... Is it us, you think?" My eyes widened, surprised. My father had asked that. Kousaka Daisuke, the hard-nosed police officer, the man carved from stone and given life by the Gods of Justice, asked that to my mother. His voice sounded weak. Uncertain. It washed me in a cold sadness I never thought I would ever—could ever—need to feel for my father. "Did...I do something to anger him? Keep us at arm's length?"

"Not that I'm aware of..." Okaa-san said, softly.

"I... I wasn't always the most approachable man, I know. I wanted to show him how a man behaves. How he conducts himself to the world. To be strong. But... Our son ignores us. It is as if he has severed ties with his family. I feel that he may be punishing us for something." There was a long pause, ended with a deep and exhausted sigh. "Maybe... Maybe he hates that I treated him as I did."

"Daisuke, I don't think—"

"I called him worthless," Otou-san stated in his matter-of-fact manner he was so well known for. "For years, I called him a good for nothing. I witnessed his descent into mediocrity and was angry at him for it."

He paused again, as if collecting his wits. Possibly, his strength. I wondered how much it took him to overcome that "silent samurai" mask that he wore daily. Okaa-san remained quiet; perhaps she was being respectful, allowing Otou-san to speak his mind. I got to hear what sadness sounded like in that man's voice: It did not quiver, nor did it crack. My father wouldn't cry, because that wasn't him. No, it was weary. Stretched to the point of ultimate and overwhelming fatigue. I don't know why I was so surprised that he had feel things behind that piercing, calculating, and evaluating gaze.

I was my father's daughter.

"I suppose I thought that when my opinion of him changed... Perhaps, I was under the false impression that once he was acting as the man I knew him to be, the perceptions from our previous relationship would disappear. I was proud that day he stood up for Kirino and her...otaku things; I still am proud. He has done well by her and has brought this family back together as I remembered it—partway at least. There is much for him to learn, still, but I believe he is on the right track to adulthood. I wish Kyousuke were here so that I could impart that wisdom to him.

"...His behavior has me baffled. It is as if I do not know my own son." Okaa-san did not reply. "Yoshino, it seems I have a great deal of thinking to do. Of myself and Kyousuke."

The silence that followed tugged at my heart.

"It saddens me greatly that he is so distant," Otou-san uttered, wounded. "Kyousuke, my boy... What are you thinking, I wonder?"

I waited for him to continue.

Okaa-san and Otou-san said nothing else.

My father's confession left me drained and pained for him. For Okaa-san, too.

I returned to my room as I had originally intended. I tried to step as softly as I could so my parents wouldn't know I listened to them. In my room, I curled up into a ball on my bed. I didn't cry anymore. Come to think about it, I didn't really get emotional over much. It seemed to take too much effort. Empty effort.

I wonder if this is how Kyousuke felt when I was in America?

* * *

"Kiririn."

"Hmm?"

I blinked furiously.

Saori and Kuroneko watched me closely from their places at the table. A waitress-maid stood by, watching with open concern.

"W-would you like something to eat?" the woman asked, possibly for the second time.

"O-oh, uh, n-no thanks," I stuttered. "My coffee is fine, thank you."

She nodded and left, but I could feel a distinct wave of pity from the maid. I died a little inside.

My gaze returned to my two, closest friends. The tall, beautiful blue/gray-haired Saori wore a frown on her face. I couldn't see her eyes behind her Master swirly glasses, but from her demeanor, she seemed a little worried. Kuroneko's dark, contemptuous gaze wasn't there, either, replaced by silent and reserved understanding. _Not you, too_, I groaned inwardly at the dark loli, remembering Ayase suddenly. I could feel my face burn as a blush covered me from chin to forehead; I wanted to sink into myself and disappear. I don't think I react well to embarrassment.

"Ist something troubling thee?" Saori asked, voice strong and embellished. She was leaned forward on her elbows, fingers caressing her coffee cup.

I didn't know what to say right off the bat, so I just looked down at my cup of steaming coffee. Silence seemed to be a prevailing feature in my life.

"There is something about you that is not quite right," Kuroneko she spoke, her voice smooth and disinterested as it always was. It didn't match up with her expression. "Where is that self important attitude, I wonder? You have not once attempted to belittle me today. Not for my fashion, nor because I've—once again—refused to be taken in by your distaste in my newest light novel series."

Oh, yeah. I did say it was stupid, didn't I?

My eyes dropped to my steaming coffee. They deserved the full truth, I suppose. And I wanted to tell them, too, but... All I could get through was: "I miss Kyousuke."

That overwhelming exhaustion, again...

Welcome back, buddy.

I heard a click and looked up. Saori had changed from Saori Bajeena to Makishima Saori by simply taking off her glasses. She was dressed in her normal otaku fashion, but for the winter: Her hair was still done up in a rough pony tail with the yellow bandanna. A thick, male parka with terrible fake fur lining the hood swaddled her nicely. I could see her green plaid button up shirt peaking out from the opening I'm her coat. Saori's act was gone, and her soft eyes looked warm but troubled. Even though her gaze made me feel a bit self conscious, I felt loved.

"You know," she began, her voice soft and lacking that medieval flourish, "think it's awfully strange. The way that Kyousuke has been for the last four months."

I didn't know what to say.

"Yeah," Ruri said, softly agreeing with her. She'd dropped her act, too.

Just by shifting her demeanor, Gokou Ruri was able to switch between her gothic counter personality into a fairly normal person. Where Kuroneko was cold and articulately dismissive, Ruri was shy and quite reserved. Honestly, her alter-ego suited her nicely. Her long winter cloak, expertly sewn and made for her, by her, for her quasi-_Maschera_ cosplay. Ruri wore what she always did to one of our get-together's: Her filly white top, the collar buttoned and centered with a small rose, under her signature black bolero accented with gray ribbons down her sleeves; her black skirt, detailed white crosses along the floor-seam and more ribbons along her slender hips; grey stockings; and classic, black Mary Janes. She'd removed her rose-adorned head band for a pair of black car ears. Her red-becontacted eyes were softer than normal and saddened.

I didn't know what to think about them. What to say in response. Why they had done that, dropping their forward identities to speak to me. I didn't want them to do this. I just wanted our time like it used to be.

"What are you doing?" I asked in a whispered.

Saori's gazed softened; Ruri didn't look at me.

Saori spoke, fingers still playing with her glasses now. "You aren't alone, Kirino. Kyousuke hasn't talked to us, either. It's been about three months since I heard from him last. We were hoping that he would have talked to you recently."

I looked at Ruri, who kept her gaze on her tea.

"He... He hasn't called either of you?" I asked, slightly shocked.

"He's stopped calling or texting us," Ruri admitted. I didn't like seeing her like this; I was more at home with her scathing, judgmental gaze. "He won't return our calls."

"Do you have any idea why?" Saori asked.

I shook my head and bit my lip. I slipped my fingers into the ring on my coffee cup and took a sip. Sweet, and flavorful. I wished I could enjoy it.

Saori nodded, silent for a moment in thought. "Have you tried visiting?"

I looked at her strangely. Visit him? I couldn't have... I mean, I couldn't have just shown up out of the blue. Right? ...Actually, no. I could have. In fact, that was something I would have done three months ago, without a thought. I would have marched into Kyousuke's dorm and kicked down his door. I would have demanded that he tell me what was wrong. And, if he didn't tell me, I would have kicked his ass until he provided me an answer that made sense. And, after that, I would have made sure to start fixing the problem. That's what we would have done when he was home. What had changed in the last four months where I failed to see confronting him as an option? How had I become part of the problem?

We sat in silence for a long time.

"You're an idiot," Ruri muttered.

My eyes snapped at her, confused and taken aback. "What?"

"You're an idiot," she repeated, shifting her eyes. They weren't soft anymore, but hard and glaring. I hadn't seen her this angry in a long time. "An idiot and a coward."

"Ruri—"

"No!" she bit, head snapping in Saori's direction before returning her hateful look upon me. "Look at what's happening here. We don't have cohesion anymore. Our group is fading! One of my closest friends won't talk to me anymore. You can't see it, but you're losing touch with us, too. When was the last time you talked to either me or Soari?"

I stared at her, my brain refusing to work. I honestly couldn't remember.

"When you agreed to see us today, we hadn't spoken in two weeks—despite my attempts. It's been a month for Saori." I looked at the tall girl suddenly scared of the truth, but she'd long since averted her gaze. She couldn't hide the look in her eyes; how had I not talked to her in a _month?_ I felt terrible, a pit growing in my stomach as the truth dawned on me. "This is the first _sight_ of you in two months. Saori and I can see what's happening. We aren't stupid. We can see it in your eyes, hear it in your voice. But, I bet you don't even know what I'm talking about."

I just gaped at her like a moron.

"Of course not," Ruri gasped out in a short, sharp, contemptuous laugh. "It's right in front of your nose and you can't see it."

Ruri stood suddenly, and pulled her cloak tight around her shoulders and dawned it's hood. The shadows that spilled over her face only accented her disgust. She reached down and pulled up long, flat, wide box. Ruri looked at it as if she shouldn't even have it near her.

"Here's your Christmas present," the girl sneered, tossing the package onto the table.

Saori and I watched in silence as the short girl left, cloak billowing behind her. The entire Pretty Garden Café was quiet, all eyes following Ruri as she made her exit. The staff had even been stunned into silence. The mood in the place didn't pick back up for a while after she'd left.

My eyes fell on the box that she'd tossed onto the table. That's right. We'd gotten together to exchange Christmas presents. Mine for Ruri was sitting on the floor, forgotten and left behind—it was the entire series of new light novel I'd heard her briefly express interest in, a gothic tale of romance between... Did it even matter anymore? At the time, she had t been able to afford it, but I doubted that she would have wanted it from me.

I reached out and dragged the box to me. I opened it.

A pair of white-feathered angel wings sat in carefully folded wrapping paper. It looked as if they were able to be adjusted for two different sizes: a base pair of small wings that was to attach to the center of my back, and extensions that could be either put at full wingspan or in a folded position. There was even a halo at the bottom of the box. The entire set was made for me by hand; I remembered her asking for my measurements about two months ago... (_So it really had been that long._) Everything Gokou Ruri made was by hand.

I somehow knew I didn't deserve them.

Saori and I exchanged our gifts, though the spirit was obviously deflated. I'd gotten Saori a special edition DVD box set of _Big O_, as well as an accompanying limited edition assemble-it-yourself model of the mecha in question. Her eyes lit up at the sight and I knew that she was happy to have. She'd gotten me a new premier doujinshi from Kurusu Kanata: _Sister's Wish, Brother's Command_, by the one and only Yamanashi Ganma—I noticed the cover art and felt the world around me grow heavy. Kyousuke and I, the drawn us, adorned the sleeve: he held me against him from behind, the two of us looking at the viewer with a heavy blush and our hands in less than appropriate locations. I've actually fantasized about that exact pose; my face was probably as red as a tomato. Saori apologized when she saw my expression, saying that Kururu-san wanted me to have the first copy printed as a thank you for us being unwitting models. We found Saori's present from Ruri; she said she would open it when she got home and had Ruri on the phone. She promised to give my present to her the next time she got a chance.

We left the café to walk around Akibahara to shop a bit, as we had done last Christmas season. We didn't go very far and decided to call it quits. I didn't really feel like a proper outing without both Ruri and Kyousuke around. We said our goodbyes and caught out different trains. I don't really remember the ride home, but the sky was starting to grow dark as I walked home.

Snow fell softly, as if the sky was sprinkling powdered sugar across Chiba.

I felt numb. I'm pretty sure it wasn't from the cold.

My mind went back to my new copy of Kururu-san's doujinshi, which I hadn't opened yet. The R18 press was stamped defiantly on the cover. I didn't know if I could read it... I hadn't touched my eroge in some time. I felt cold when I played them. I still saw Kyousuke and myself in the 2D and 3D animations, but where it used to set fire to my body it made me cold. I didn't imagine my brother taking me anymore; I hadn't felt that way for a while. No, now I wondered what he was doing and where he was. It wasn't only with my eroge: _Stardust✩Witch Meruru_ wasn't very interesting anymore, and I found my attention wondering back to Kyousuke. I imagined him in his old room, listening to music or sleeping or studying or playing a game I'd let him borrow, and it would make me smile for a short time. Sometimes, I would lie on his stripped mattress in his barren room which had become a new storage space.

I was so tired.

Maybe I'd take a nap. I hadn't done that in a long time.

I came around the block and found my plain, unremarkable house and was overwhelmed with the urge to walk past it. I didn't want to go in there. Since that night that my father confessed his fears and sorrow to Okaa-san, the mood of the entire house dropped. I rarely wanted to be home. I had actually considered joining more clubs just to keep me from going home.

I stopped and stared at the house. It was the same as the others along this street, if not for a few variations. There was the brick, concrete and wooden fence that blocked off our property. The wooden gate and brick vestibule with our family name on it. The bay window to the left of the door, and the living room jutting out slightly toward the front of the property. The second floor looked much like the first in color and in design. Otou-san's car was gone, the man having left for work before I woke up. There were some trees here and there, some bushes that pleasantly hid the house's side paneling. There was nothing special about this place anymore. Not that it'd been that spectacular before. But, Kyousuke used to be here.

My breath billowed from my nostrils and lips in short lived, whipping clouds. My hands were stuffed into my pea-coat, my neck swaddled in my brother's scarf that he left—it was devoid of color and was tasteless, but at least part of him was with me. My legs had a brush of blue to them, dusted in the frosty color under my skirt. My Uggs were a little wet from the light snow.

_I guess I'd better go in._

Up the steps and through the door, I was met with heat. I hadn't realized that I'd been so cold.

"I'm home," I called out, greeting the house. I kicked off my boots and set them to the side to dry. I took off my coat. My fingers touched the soft fabric of my brother's scarf, unwilling to take it off.

"So, that's where my scarf went."

My eyes snapped open and I nearly choked on my own heart. I whipped my head to the sound of the voice and found Kyousuke, standing in the atrium as if he never left.

— Ω —

* * *

**Author's Note**: (Updated, 30Jul14) Wow. It's been a while since I've actually published anything on here. I think it's been about eight years. Thanks for reading so far, and I hope that this will be as pleasing for you as it will be for me.

A few notes on the nature of this story. I started reading the light novels after I'd started writing tbis piece. Actually, the reason I even got seriously back into writing fanfiction was because the anime's ending angered me so terribly. I was so moved that I started this about three times, unable to really start it off right. For the first run of this chapter, I'd learned some things about the light novel series that made a lot of sense in how the ending came about, but I think some things didn't translate over into the anime. Whereas the LNs do imply something, the anime does not:

Kyousuke and Kirino are done. _Finite._ Expired romantically.

Other things don't match up, either, but I'm leaving everything intentionally vague because spoilers. I honestly didn't know that the anime was derived from a light novel series until I got my first review (don't worry, I properly chastised myself—that information was in my face when I was researching the show; I just blatantly ignored it, apparently).

So, to be brief, I'm taking the anime ending at face value. Any sort of information that was left out of the anime that was in the LNs is just that: things that didn't happen in that universe. If you're having trouble with that concept, try this: the anime is an official, slightly off the main course AU of the light novels. What isn't expressly stated is not part or that universe. If I didn't take the anime as that AU concept and went along with the light novels, then this entire story wouldn't make sense. There would have been no point to posting the story in the first place and completely start anew. That's not to say that I'm not going to take the LNs into account, but you can see where my predicament exists. What I've learned about the LNs makes me feel a little at peace with how they ended, but Aniplex just completely shit on it.

Look at that. I ended up not being brief at all.

Anyway, any and all criticism is welcome. Spelling, grammar, character development and continuity, etc., etc. As much as I'm here to fix what the anime destroyed, I'm doing this to grow as a writer. For the last six-odd years I've solely worked on original science fiction titles and feel like my skills need to be expressed in all manner of settings. I suppose that's why any one of us writes at all. Anyway, your help is greatly appreciated. I know when someone's being an asshole, so I won't be too offended when someone decides to go Full Douche.

Oh, and if anyone want's to be my Alpha Reader, shoot me a PM. I don't have anyone at the moment, so I'm riding raw. Otherwise, I'll try to answer questions in the normal FanFiction manner.

_See You Space Siscon..._

* * *

_Revision #1_, (30Jul14) Incontinuity error with Daisuke's character and the nature of his and Kyousuke's relationship by the end of the series. Also cleaned up a bit of his speech to try and make it more in line with his character. I've also tried to bring down the level of dramaticism in the overall tone of the chapter; I felt it was a bit heavy handed after sitting on it for a week and my thoughts were equally expressed in a review. Thanks for pointing that out, **Adept94**!


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I **do not** own **Ore no Imōto ga Konna ni Kawaii Wake ga Nai **in any conceivable way. This is a work of fan-made fiction. Obviously.

**Forward**: So, like the first chapter, this is a second version because of a huge reboot. Me being absolutely crazy about continuity is probably a blessing to a lot of you readers out there. With so many AU fics out there, why would you want to read another one? At least this way, even though I am no Fushimi Tsukasa, there can be a proper ending to a magnificent series. Thanks for reading and enjoy.

_This work takes place after the events of the Season 2 finale, and is not an adaptation of the light novel series._

* * *

II

_My Sister Can't Know The Truth!_

Kirino gaped at me as if she'd seen a ghost.

"Yo, Kirino," I said, smiling. I raised my hand in greeting.

God, I was so happy to see her.

My head snapped backward, my nose and lips bursting into white hot fire. It blinded me. I hadn't been attacked like that since before Ayase stopped talking to me. I tried to retain my balance, back stepping to keep me upright. It wasn't enough. I tilted back. A second burst of pain flashed forward from the back of my skull as my body met the ground.

Kirino'd kicked me in the face.

I should've seen it coming.

"'_Yo?!_'" Kirino roared, standing over me with fists clenched. "That's what you have to say to me? '_Yo?!_' You don't write or text or call for two months—_two months!_—and that's what you fucking _say to me?!_"

I tried to speak, but all I could taste was blood. Shit. I think she might have broken my nose. I know she busted my lips.

Where'd this language come from? Me?

Probably.

I forced my eyes to focus. The beautiful honey blonde girl shuttered with boundless anger. Tears of rage streamed her face, streaking the light application of mascara that she'd donned for her outing that day. Kirino's teeth were set, lips peeled back in a quivering sneer. Those turquoise eyes burrowed contempt and anguish into my soul.

I should have rethought my greeting.

"How _dare_ you!" my little sister screamed.

She kicked me, again. Her leg transferred the powerful blow into my thigh; fuck, it hurt.

"You don't have the right to speak to me that way! Don't you fucking walk back in here and act like my _brother!_ How can you just drop what we built and be ok with that? _That's not fucking fair!_" Her bellowing voice turned to sobs.

I let her kick me and cry.

Eventually, her kicks died to weak swats with her foot. Once she ran out of power, she crumpled to the floor over me, arms wrapping around my chest. Kirino's body, racked with loud and shaking sobs, clung to me as if I would disappear again. I ventured to encircle the girl in my own arms to hold her tightly; I was relieved that she didn't attack me for it. I laid there, holding my sister on the floor for a long, long time.

_I'm sorry, Kirino._

* * *

I wasn't lying when told Kirino that it was complicated.

I've never been in love before, so I don't know how you're supposed to act. I don't know anyone else who would be in love with their sister, so I'm even more in the dark. All I have to go on is fanciful eroge full of crazy situations that were so far removed from reality that it made me scratch my head. I mean, how many guys actually fell in love with their sisters? Along with that thought, how many girls fell for their brothers? What the games suggested happen wasn't anywhere close to real life: incest was terribly looked down on, with laws restricting incestuous relationship from flourishing (even in books and mainstream media). There wasn't a soul around me to turn to. Miura (while being a massive siscon) was in it for the jacks; I wasn't sure how far Akagi's affections ran for Sena, either. So, I stepped into the unknown: the internet. When I looked for help or advice online, all I could find was either links to psychiatric help or porn. Or a lot of ignorant (and sometimes terrifying) suggestions from people who didn't even know what love was. And people said that the internet wasn't helpful.

I guess I started to feel helpless after a while. I mean... It doesn't help when the Ghost of Christmas Past won't get out of your head.

I used to be _normal_. The only things I had to worry about was if I was going to pass a test. Or, what I was going to eat. Well, also if Okaa-san was going to find my stash of h-manga and porn, but that was it. How did it get like this?

Man… Two months.

Had it actually been too months since I spoke to her last? Well, if anyone kept track, it would have been Kirino. Why hadn't I called her more? It's not like I'd meant to break my promise to her.

_Will you call me when you get set up?_

_You know I will._

_You promise?_

_Heh. How about this? I promise to call you everyday. If I can't call, I'll text you to let you know. If that's impossible, you'll get an email and then I'll call as soon as I can to make up for it._

_Ha! You promise? Really, really?_

_I just said that, dummy. Really, really._

_Hmm!_

It was simple enough. We had a mutual desire to keep in touch. She was still my little tsundere sister, after all, demanding a lot of attention. I mean, I wanted to keep dote on her like I had when I lived with the rest of the Kousaka family. I remember things going well in the beginning, too. Yeah, I was busy, but so was Kirino. That beautiful wonderchild excelled at being under pressure. I remember her telling me about how crazy her second trimester was when it started up the September following my entrance into University. Hell, she fought tooth and nail to keep her top marks, her Track & Field stardom, and that freelance modeling career she was building; why couldn't I do that?

Simply spectacular.

I found time to call or at least email her. Texting was a completely different matter. I feared a Second Cold War so badly that I'd started an on-going text conversation with my little sister. From morning to night, we'd send texts back and forth until we actually talked to one another. It got to a point where one of my new friends (a boy by the name of Ito Junichi who was in the same program as I was: Computer Programming, Research, and Development with a focus on Video Game Design) had started asking if I was keeping a girlfriend at home that I hadn't told him about. I'd wave him off and make up some lame excuse.

I'm still getting my weight under my feet, if you can understand. Kirino brought back a lot of memories from when I used to be a protégé (I _still_ hate that word...), but it wasn't something I could pick back up at a moment's notice. How long had it been? Since I was twelve or so? Younger? My brains been a little fuzzy since the start of the semester, but I'm certain it'd been seven years (at least) or more since I had that drive to succeed. A work in progress, I guess.

Even so, I was doing well in school. I didn't even really worry about homework or class. I had that strange drive again. It was a familiar feeling that I hadn't know for a long time. I liked it. I started to feel that mediocrity wasn't for me anymore; it was boring as hell. Miura had taken over Manami's position as my personal tutor; he and I decided to dorm together out of fear of being alone on campus (with the agreement that the man would bath and brush his teeth daily). The more and more I worked, the easier my classes got. Granted, they were beginning University classes, but you have to start somewhere, right? I loved math again (I remember that being one of my favorite subjects in grade school) and was learning the ins and outs of computers on my off time with Miura. If things kept going as they were, I wouldn't even need help from him. And, to think that my expanded education was all _free_.

I'd managed to ace my entrance exams with such accuracy that I'd achieved something I'd never heard of before: a _scholarship_. I was skeptical at first, but when Oji-san and I sat down with the university advisor he was able explain to me what was happening: _I was going to school for free._ So long I kept my GPA up at an acceptable level, I'd have my tuition, room, _and_ board—all free. Oh, and have a small stipend for extra food. The adviser used a strange phrase ("A _free ride_.") with a huge, stupid grin. I was all on board, but it took a conversation with one of my father's police buddies, explaining to him that scholarships were a completely legitimate thing, before he was go for launch.

Kousaka Daisuke was someone I couldn't grasp. An entity that was aloof and disinterested. I found his support strange. He knew what major I'd picked out, and _he still said for me to go for it._

That was that. School life wasn't terrible. Like, at all.

So, what was it? Where did my distance grow from?

Disinterest? No.

Anger? Definitely not.

Longing? Now, that sounded just stupid.

But, let's talk about the word _Longing._ It wasn't the most pure of desires; I mean, I _longed_ for my sister. I was embarrassed to think that my little sister moved me in the most adult, most male of ways. She'd actually bought a new computer so that I could take the pink one I'd "sullied" with porn; she said to think of it as a going away present. She'd preinstalled several games, but she'd lent me the physical disk to an eroge she thought I would want to play after cramming in a twenty-four hour powerhouse session to clear every possible path. That girl didn't skimp on excellence. That eroge, called _Schoolgirl❤Siste__r_, was particularly adult in nature, with far more graphic images and cutscenes than was usually her taste; perhaps her interests were growing older with her. Whatever the case, she thought I would enjoy it.

Well, she wasn't wrong.

It was hard playing that particular eroge; Kirino and I were in every scene. It didn't help that the heroine was honey blonde and embodied a tsundere personality. She was Kirino, through and through. I couldn't see her as anything else. I did as she asked and played all of the routes, but out of all the other games she'd given me, I found myself playing through _Schoolgirl❤Sister_ over and over and over... I didn't even have to replace the heroine's faces with Kirino's, she and the drawing were so alike. We fell in love almost nightly, Kirino and I, and when the credits were done I was left aroused and hollow. I was forced to try and achieve meaningful release before collapsing onto my bed wishing I'd never played that game for the umpteenth time.

I was teasing myself.

_Until graduations_, Kirino'd said all those months ago, _the two of us will be lovers for a limited time. We'll enjoy ourselves to the fullest. Then, once we graduate...we'll return to being regular siblings. How's that sound?_

Oh, hey, Ghost of Christmas Past. I missed you.

That was a clear message if I'd ever heard one. Clearer than a kick to the balls, surprisingly. And I'm so dense, sometimes I wonder if I'm mildly retarded.

Translation: _I recognize that you love me more than you should (and I love you that way, too), but let's tease ourselves and destroy a friendship just to be regular siblings in the end, ok? _

I guess I was a little bitter.

That logic never stuck with me, but then again me and Kirino's relationship was never logical. But, something that night possessed me to agree to it. I suppose I was desperate for any sort of higher affection from the girl I loved that I jumped on whatever I could get. Come to think about it, that sounds super duper pathetic. Eh, what can you do? Decisions were made, promises were kept, and here I was fantasizing about my sister like I did when I got off to porn with my glasses fetish.

_I wonder what Kirino would look like with glasses?_

Moving on.

Dispite what my lazy and god-awful brain thought, the distance between Kirino and I wasn't substantial. If anything, it was about as long a journey from our house to Aki via train and waking. We could have seen each other regularly had I not been freaking out about my grades (a chance for a free education did things to a person). Even then, I guess, I was worried about Kirino's grades, too—not that I should have been; she's _fucking Kirino_, mate. She's the triathlon version of a normal schoolgirl-idol. But, I made excuses to myself not to go home for one reason or another and they made sense to me at the time. In truth, the English phrase _Cut your nose to spite your face_, accurately depicts my refusal to return home.

So, still: _why did I stop calling?_

I'm circling my own questions. How dumb can I possibly be? Let's recap what had happened since our faux-wedding; maybe that'll help me out.

The short break between Kirino's Graduation Ceremony and Entrance Ceremony was fairly turbulent. Up until then, I'd been living every day as it were Kirino's and I's last day being lovers. Those three months from Christmas to March were the most inwardly awkward months in my life to date: I loved Kirino beyond social convention, and that was fine and dandy, but I was swamped with this overwhelming guilt about dating Oji-san's daughter—my sister. Ever since that day I stood for Kirino's hobby and took the fall (and a punch to the face) for the adult disk inside of that _Stardust✩Witch Meruru_ DVD case, my father had been proud of me. I suppose it was because I upheld and supported my blood no matter what she'd gotten into. Even if it looked like I was smuggling porn into the house using her things; I still don't understand why he thought I was something to be proud of with that in mind. Oji-san expected me to take care of her, to keep Kirino out of the reach of the wicked and impure (boys), but I don't think dating my little sister was what he had in mind.

The end came far too quickly, as they always did. Kirino and I called off our romance shortly before her first trimester of her first year in high school.

I still had... What, four months until my classes started? Yeah, they started in early August. The University I chose ran on a semester system instead of the trimester system I was so used to. Miura had claimed it was the best in the region for all different video game design courses, and that was what I'd ended up falling in line with, so...

I waited. For four months.

I mostly worked on school work to keep me busy and fresh. I even played around with coding for a while, learning rudimentary skills so I wouldn't be outpaced or left behind. I came up with a few crude text adventure for the command prompt, which was fun: not that they were entirely safe for anyone other than myself to play, but no one would know how to go about looking for and implementing the commands necessary to play them. I met up with Akagi Kouhei or Miura Gennosuke a few times to just hang out. Akagi was full of anguish over his sister, Sena, dating Makabe Kaede and would lament to me about his feelings; I had full sympathies for him, though it was a little strange knowing another man felt similarly about his sister, even if his affections weren't...overtly returned. I mean, did his feelings for Sens even come close to mine for Kirino? That question kept me from opening up to him. I showed Miura one or two of my text adventures and (while being heavily primitive) he enjoyed them thoroughly.

Both Kuroneko and Saori were back in school the same time Kirino was, but we stayed in touch regularly.

I spent time with my little sister whenever she was off of school and not busy working on homework or modeling. When Kirino was off on Sundays (and not spending time with Ayase or Kanako), we would go out and shop or get something to eat. We'd also make our regular trips to Akibahara to meet up with the otaku gang to shop and have a gay old time.

Those four months of break was nice. Awesome even.

Then, school started. That's where I met Ito Junichi, the soccer team's newest best player (apparently) and spokes person for the Games and Development Club. He was a sophomore, and was already plowing through his classes. He and Miura seemed to be at the same level of coding, which was interesting. Needless to say, on top of my school work, I joined the G&D Club and started learning a lot more about my major than I would have ever dreamed—I was going to love it, even if I was going to have a difficult time finding work afterward. I don't think it'd be a lie to say my university life was busy. Ito even got me running again, and I couldn't believe how much I missed it. I was slow as hell (Ito said I was just a little out of shape, which was nice of him since it was the understatement of the century) and had me practice soccer with him during our off-time occasionally.

He offered to—

...Nah, not important. Starting to get off topic.

The timeline spat me out, here: sitting at home, face bloodied with my sister (rightfully) pissed at me.

Or whatever the monolithic proportion of that word was.

I've got nothing.

That is to say: I can't see any reason why I stopped calling.

Why I stopped calling Kirino. And Okaa-san and Oji-san. Kuroneko and Saori. They all tried to contact me, but I just didn't do anything to get back to them. If they caught me, I made some excuse and hung up, usually to get back to work or to...do God knows what. Even when Ayase called me about Kirino (in not so nice of words), that would have been an opportune moment to reunite with everyone. But...nope. And for no reason other than an a super-loud fire alarm scare. It looked like I was failing a lot of people. I felt terrible about it. I mean, how could have I just _dropped_ people and not know the cause?

I didn't know the cause... Right?

A womanly face, beautiful an happy, does filter into my mind's eye, though. She has long, perfect hair. She was shapely in all the best places. She was funny and had a fantastic laugh. She wore the latest styles and was very hip, knowledgable to the quickly shifting patterns of societal trends. She was interested into eroge, too—strange, because I'd only figured the small handful of girls I knew were into that genre of gaming. Weirdest thing of all, she was interested in _me_. Like, even I thought I'd seen something there. Her laugh, her eyes, her apparently happiness whenever we surprised one another in meeting. At first, I thought she was just being nice, but as the semester plowed on, it stopped looking and feeling like coincidence. My head gets all swimmy when I think about her.

I have to admit with a sense of burning embarrassment and a hefty serving of self loathing that...

...this woman wasn't Kirino.

* * *

"Hello?"

"_Kyousuke, I hope you die a slow and agonizingly painful death._"

"I wasn't expecting out first conversation in seven months to start like this."

"_Shut up! _Shuddupshuddupshuddup!"

"Woah, hold on, Ayase—hold on. What's wrong?"

"_Like you care._"

"Ayase, I know things got a little...heavy for us the last time we spoke, but I'll always be your friend. I promised to stop sexually harassing you, remember? I'll always care."

"..._When was the last time you talked to Kirino?_"

"...Uh, I dunno. A week ago?"

"_That's a lie. You know how much I hate lies."_

"I don't know what—"

"Lielielielielie!"

"Ok, ok! Two weeks, I think. Yeah, I talked to her two weeks ago."

"..._What kind of man are you that you won't even hold your promise to your sister? To think I feel in love with scum like you. You disgust me._"

"Ayase—"

"_You know what? If you kept your promise, you'd have known Kirino'd gotten hurt._"

"Wait—what?"

"_Oh, you're interested now?_"

"What happened to Kirino, Ayase!"

"_You should probably find out for yourself. You're so worthless._"

"Ayase, wai—"

_Beep-beep-beep._

With a conversation like that, how couldn't I rush to call Kirino?

I know that I pissed Ayase off beyond any sort of tangible (at least, to me at the time) reason. I had gotten to know her fairly well when she took care of me while Oji-san and Okaa-san rented that apartment for my university entrance exam studies. She was sweet when she wanted to be. Understanding when she wanted to be. In some ways like a wife in how she'd nag me. She was also murderously psychopathic and it seemed only I could bring that out in her. How could she have fallen for me, I wonder? I had to turn her down. It wouldn't have been right. Yeah, I felt something strong for her, but she wasn't the one I loved.

Kirino.

Damnit.

I knew I had the power to talk to her, but I think I might have misplaced it. That powerful, albeit sometimes stupid, Kyousuke that could silence her with all of his power just by radiating trust from his very soul. Were he in front of her, he would have placed his hand on her head and intoned his magic words: "Kirino, leave it to me." He was MIA, it seemed. He was somewhere inside of me, I know, but I hadn't out him on in four months; I don't even know where I could find that strength again. All that was left was a Kyousuke that was disjointed, alone, and completely at a loss in how to deal with his little sister. She deserved better. She always deserved the best, because she was my Kirino. I think that somewhere along the way I just lost sight of that.

I'm terrible a brother.

* * *

Kirino sat on the couch, knees pulled to her chest. Her mouth hid behind them. She didn't speak.

I washed my face of blood that had dried to my lips, having spouted from my nose. I tested my nose tentatively. It didn't feel broken, but it was still tender to the touch. The taste of iron was still strong in my mouth. I washed out as much of the tangy flavor as best as I could and winced; my teeth ached to the bone. _Right in the teeth..._ I could feel a few splits on my lips. Once I was convinced that I'd washed most of the blood off of me, I washed out Okaa-san's sink, picked up the water scattered about the kitchen, and returned to the living room.

If Okaa-san and Oji-san had been home, there would have been some explaining to do.

"How bad does it look?" I asked as I sat down in one of the perpendicular chairs to the couch.

She wouldn't look at me.

My eyes shifted to my clasped hands underneath me.

_...shall we end it here as promised?_

With a sigh, I buried my head into my hands until the world around me went dark. I was washed over with a sudden exhaustion I hadn't felt in long time.

I was so used to having her beat me up when she was angry before shifting to **I'M OK** mode that I was feeling a little lost for words. I know I'd been absent for two months...but, wasn't that ok? I mean, we were brother and sister—normal ones, I mean. I couldn't fully understand why she was _this_ upset.

"Kirino, I—"

"Shut up," she murmured from behind her knees. "Just, shut up and go back to University."

I clicked my tongue, unsure of how to respond.

Kirino had done some growing in four months. I'd probably not noticed, since I was living her up until her birthday in July, but being away really put some perspective on her growth pattern. She was sixteen, now. A strange and wonderful age for girls like her. Even at fourteen, Kirino had been unnaturally beautiful and mature-looking. Now that she was becoming a young adult and a later-stage teenager, her body was growing into some fantastic shape that screamed, "I am a woman!"

When she'd arrived home a few minutes ago, and she'd removed her pea-coat, I'd gotten to see what she was wearing. She had chosen a blue long sleeved shirt that came to her knuckles on those slender hands and hugged the curved of her upper body; there was a nice, low plunge that displayed an appropriate amount of cleavage that I didn't remember there being before. It looked as if she'd layered it with a white tank top or something that didn't interfere with the view of her shirt's deep plunge, but escaped under the blue fabric at her waist. She still wore short skirts, it seemed, even in the winter: the one she'd chose was black and made of layered ruffles that came up just over mid-thigh and looked amazing on her. To protect her legs (powerful and toned from her increasingly hard Track & Field Club) from the cold, it looked like she'd work dark gray thigh-high stockings. Overall, it looked as if her body was adopting a gracefully lithe and athletic appearance. The girl wasn't much taller than when I left.

Kousaka Kirino, you are a blonde bombshell.

All of that was hidden of course. She still had her knees pulled up to her chest.

It felt wrong to admire her physique while she felt the way she did.

"Kirino, I know you don't want to hear me ou—"

"Then don't speak," she snapped.

I sighed. "But, I'm going to tell you, anyway."

She didn't bite back this time.

I waited to see if she would, but when I was satisfied that I had the floor, I started.

"I have no answers for you. I don't know what happened to my promise. I'm sorry for that. I never meant to turn my back on what we rebuilt."

I realized at that moment, with striking clarity, that there really wasn't anything else to say. All of that for an _I'm sorry_. I couldn't have froze at a worse time. I thought I'd prepared for this.

I stunned myself.

Like.

Wow.

I was such a great public speaker. I deserved a God damned metal.

Silence.

Kirino picked up her head from her knees, those turquoise eyes burning with a rage I hadn't seen since the atrium. She didn't shutter, she didn't shake. The blonde bombshell that sat on the Kousaka couch had reached a level of displeasure that I knew she hadn't experience since the Cold War. I balked slightly, actually frightened by the look of seething hate that radiated off of her like heat from the sun.

"Is that it?"

"I—uh... Y-Yeah, that's it... I think."

"We don't speak in two months and all you have for me is 'I'm sorry?'"

I stared at her, a nervous smile forcing itself into my lips.

"No reason. No attempt to explain that cluster fuck of a promise broken... Just, 'I'm sorry.' Not even an attempt to promise that you'll change your ways?"

I nodded slowly, wondering if she was going to kick me again or just go for my eyes with her perfect nails. She stood, wrapping her arms around her torso, under her breasts. Kirino fixed that acidic look on me and spoke. No, wait—don't agree to that last part!

"Kyousuke, you must be the worst man on the planet. The absolute worst."

The blonde crossed the living room and left, closing the door in a normal fashion. No slam, no slow and exaggerated arch, just as if she were walking through the house on any normal given day. I heard her foot steps track all the way upstairs until she reached the second floor. Her door opened. It closed.

Smooth, Kyousuke. Smooth.

* * *

Three days passed without a word from Kirino.

_Damn_.

I fucked up.

I really, really fucked up.

* * *

My phone buzzed next to my garishly pink computer.

Had it not been there, I wouldn't have noticed it going off. I had my headphones on, music cranked up and my fingers flying over the keyboard in elegant strokes that spilled code onto Geany's program window. Git Bash's window was peaking from just behind, ready for me to try and run the program. In the end, I'd only to curse loudly; yeah, complier errors are my friends, but damnit they were as annoyed as fuck. At least they were runtime errors—I would have thrown my computer. I didn't really know how long I'd been there, but I was trying out making a GUI (graphic user interface) for my text adventures. There was a ton of code that hadn't been there before, so I assumed that it'd been some time.

I picked it up, flipping the phone open.

The picture of a beautiful woman looked back at me. Long, dark hair pulled up into an artfully messy ponytail. Bright green eyes, that seemed to flash even in the simple photo. They were hidden (I use the term loosely) behind a pair of rimless glasses. Dark, caramel skin from summers abroad. Small, cute button-nose. Fantastic smile. She maybe looked sixteen, but she was twenty-one. I remembered the day she had me take that picture for my phone directory—she was wearing a light gray short-sleeved shirt that clung to her body perfectly, a pair of pin-striped blue-and-white short-shorts, and a pair of classic, white Vans. Simple. Amazingly well put together. She said she was dressing down, but she looked far from it.

Tachibana Mieko.

I tilted my head in surprise. I didn't think she'd call. Or that anyone would call, for that matter.

_TALK_

"Hello?"

"_Yahallo!_"

So, that's how the kids greeted each other nowadays. "Hey, Tachi—"

"_Stopit—what did I tell you?_"

What was with all these girls interrupting me?

"Call you by your first name."

"_Then why don't you?_"

I scratched my cheeking, a little nervous, even if she was just over the phone. I'd have to see her in person again, one day. "Uh, force of habit. I'm sorry, Mieko."

"_Just don't do it again_," she said with a smile in her voice.

I smiled with her. "So, what's up?"

"_I was wondering if you were working on your text adventure again?_"

"And that deserved a call?" I pressed _Ctl_ and _s_—a man's best friend. Last time she called, I accidentally closed out of almost two-hundred lines of code. "Aren't you with your family?"

"_Are you telling me that you _aren't _happy to hear from me?_"

"Oh, I didn't say that," I grinned, leaning back in my old computer chair, cradling my head with my free hand. "You just made me lose a ton of code last time you called. I was wondering if you were trying to knock me down a peg."

"_Ha. You don't need me to do that to yourself._"

I made a face of mock pain to no one in particular. "That hurts, Mieko."

"_You deserve it_," she laughed lightly.

After I finished chuckling with her, I answered her question. "Well, for your information, I am working on that text adventure. It's doing well."

"_Which one are you doing?_"

"...I only have one I'm working on."

Which was a lie. I only had one official text adventure going, and that one was fantasy based. There were a few others I was working on simultaneously that... Well... Let's just say, they weren't meant for any eyes else other than mine. Me being a siscon, I think you can see what their topics revolved around. I could feel a sweat bearing itself on my brow.

"_You should make your passwords harder to break, Kyousuke._"

"I-I don't know what you mean."

"_I wanted to know about the ones with the sisters in them._"

Cold sweat a cometh.

"Nuns?"

"_Don't be a dick._"

"It's rude to go snooping around people's things," I replied lamely. There honestly could have been any number of infinite moments where Mieko could have gotten a gander at my R18 code; there wasn't any use in fretting over when it was. Where was easy: the G&D clubroom. I would need to just make my password harder to crack.

"_Oh, shut up and tell me how they're going. From what I messed with, I liked them._"

"Really?" I asked, embarrassed but inflated slightly with pride.

"_Well, the story could use some work._" Cue deflation. "_And some of the characters aren't very consistent. Grammatical errors, bad bugs here and there. Some of the sexual positions just aren't feasible. Like at all. There was that one you wrote_—"

"I thought you said you liked them," I said, suddenly unamused.

"_I do! I'm just saying that they need some polishing up. But,_ My Sister's Love Slave _was my favorite. The unnamed personality, Tsde1: her character is pretty well put together. Actually, all of your tsundere girls are all really consistent._"

Well, I had a lot of experience with that.

"_What was that?_"

Shit. Did I say that out loud? "Uh, yeah, well I just thought about those ones a lot. My favorite route to pick and stuff."

Mieko chuckled. "_I bet. Hey, I've got to run, but I wanted to offer my services to help you. Writing, plot, character development—realistic sex scenes are my fortes._"

Obvious jab was obvious.

"I-I'm not sure about that, actually," I sputtered a little. These were supposed to be for me and me alone. It felt weird that someone wanted to pry into deepest fantasies.

"_I thought you'd say that. Well, thing is, I'm actually going to be visiting a friend in your area tomorrow. It's really going to be a ten or fifteen minute thing and I thought that taking an hour-long train ride would be really out of my way unless I did something else. So, I was thinking about coming over._"

"R-really? I mean, if you want. I'm not going to be going anywhere."

"_Great! And for my help, I ask for one thing._"

"Uh, sure. I guess."

"_We're going to name Tsde1 Tachibana Mieko._"

I stared at the wall for a long, long time.

"..._Hello?_"

"U-uh, sure. We'll do that. She's a blonde though. And, younger."

"_Heh. We can fix that. Not like you can't have onee-san be an option, right? Anyway, I'll help you with some of your bugs and I'll help you rewrite some of your scenes. Bu-bye!_"

The phone cut off the connection.

Free of conversation, I stared at the home screen for a moment. There, Kirino stared back at me in that cute, sexy swim wear from one of her photo shoots back when she was fifteen. (_I should change it to something more recent._) The sticker on the back of my phone was starting to fade with use and it made me a little sad. This was the only way I could see her, it seemed. She refused to see me, despite trying to get her attention through her door or through our conjoining walls. One time I tried to barge into her room and almost got my testicles put into my lower abdomen. Not the best idea, but I'd felt desperate.

God. How could I get through to Kirino?

Wait.

Hold up.

I didn't agree to Mieko's help.

"...Oh, God damnit."

* * *

_**SLAP.**_

"_Geh—_"

"Quiet!" a familiar voice hissed. "You'll wake up Okaa-san and Otou-san!"

The familiar voice was attached to a weight not so familiar. I could feel a body hovered over me, the position was nearly the same as I remembered from almost a year ago. A pair of hands clutched my sleep shirt, pressure applied to a single point to keep this body hovering over me. There was a heat that spilled over me at my groin and wrapped around my waist. Strong, muscular thighs gripped my sides with purpose. As my sight returned to me from such a violent awakening, I could see a beautiful face looking down at me. A girl I knew. She looked mad. Maybe she was concentrating on a thought. Either way, she looked mad. Her honey blonde hair slipped from her shoulders to hang over me, that one part of her bangs still clipped to the side in the fashion I knew and loved. She wore a small, pink tank top that looked as if it might need to be replaced; this she was growing into a woman, whereas her clothes refused to grow with her. (_Are you really sixteen?_) A pair of blue sleep pants did nothing to keep the proximity of our genders separated by a comfortable distance.

My sister, Kousaka Kirino, had decided to wake me up like she used to. A nice, brutal slap to the face.

The only thing is...

I never remembered this much contact.

"Kirino..."

She averted her eyes at the sound of her name, an indignant look in those perfect turquoise eyes. "I need to talk to you."

I was still groggy, but I was happy. I'd only wanted to talk since she stormed up the stairs three days before. Surprisingly, I was able to ignore the...the, uh, interesting...postion...

Nope, I couldn't.

My heart was beating hard in my chest. Hard enough for me to see my sternum shutter a little. It was too hard to ignore the knowledge that my unwittingly sister had taken position that I had often fantasized about. Even with the way she'd woken me up. With those exact words. _Ohfuckohfuck—_ I had to stay calm. She didn't know what she was doing. It was all my brain's fault. Why the fuck did I have to be aroused by my _own sister?_ I had to get her off before she knew what was happening to me.

...

...Shut _up_, Kyousuke!

"Ok," I said, trying to play cool. "But, get off of me."

She gave me a weird look. Like, _Why should I?_

Then her face blanked out as she realized the situation.

"_Pervert!_" She hissed as she jumped up off of me.

Crisis averted.

I sat up, letting out a deep, heavy sigh. As if I'd lived a thousand years and never got announce of rest. I looked at the clock and saw that it was 03:00. Perfect. Mieko was supposed to come over today and I was going to be a zombie. I fixed Kirino with a tired smile. "What's up?"

"What's wrong with your face?" Kirino watched me with a mixture of aggravation and disbelief, crossing her arms under her breasts to hold herself. Her stance was defiant.

"Wha? My face?"

"You look like you're in pain."

So much for smiling after waking up.

"What do you want to talk about, Kirino," I asked, dropping my attempt to be civil.

She looked away, bringing on that indignant look again. "Tch."

"Oh—_com'on!_ Why do you have to be like that?"

"Shut up, moron!" she hissed back. "You'll wake up our parents!"

She closed her eyes after that. She looked like she was turning her nose up at me, disinterested in my presence. I knew that she was gathering herself. Whenever she was pissed off and trying to accurately speak her piece, she took on that air of arrogance. She opened those eyes of her's, letting out a long breath.

"Will you meet me in my room?"

I watched her for a second before nodding dumbly.

Kirino slipped out of my room and I followed, making sure to be completely decent. That exchange really helped suck the adrenaline out of my veins. In only a moment, I was outside of Kirino's door. It stood ajar. I pushed it open, saying: "I'm coming in."

I found her on her bed, arms wrapped around her knees, eyes distant with thought. God, not this again...

"Kirino...?"

"Who were you talking to? Earlier today?"

I gave her a confused look, stuffing my hands in my pockets defensively. "Tachibana Mieko. She's a classmate."

Kirino pulled her knees in closer. "A girl?"

My confusion changed to acute sadness. A twinge of regret. "Yeah, Mieko's a girl."

"You're on a first name basis?!" Kirino almost shouted.

"Hey! Hey! Yeah, we're friends! It's like with Saori and Kuroneko... Well, not like with _Ruri_, but you know. We're just friends."

"Yeah. Friends." My sister buried her face into her knees.

I didn't know what to do. What I _wanted_ to do was pull her close to me, to kiss her cheeks and tell her there wasn't any reading to be jealous.

—_normal siblings._

I clenched my fists in my pockets. Damn it to hell. If she thought of it as more than siblings, then that was on her. But, I wanted to hold her.

I crossed the room, making for her bed.

"If you come any closer," she said, muffled through her knees, "I will hurt you. Terribly."

"I want to... I want to make you better."

"We're brother and sister, pervert. You can't do anything."

I started gathering my strength to make the push forward.

"Leave," she said, pulling herself into a tighter ball.

Finality.

_I love you._

I couldn't say it. The one thing I think and felt that could make this better. Those three words. I wasn't allowed. We're brother and sister, right? I couldn't love you like that. The world wouldn't let me. And, you succumbed to the pressure, Kirino. Maybe you loved me the way I did for you, but the world was—is scary. I told Minami that I would break barriers for you. So that we could be together. I didn't care what the world thought about us; I screamed my incestuous love at the top of my lungs on Christmas Eve on a busy city center street. I still don't. But, I didn't blame you. Whatever reasons you came up with to end it before it begun are yours alone to make. You and I will always have each other, but...

I just feel cold when I look at you.

I closed the door to Kirino's room and went back to bed.

I didn't sleep.

— Ω —

* * *

**Author's Note**: (Updated, 02Aug14) Another shout out to **Adept94** for your critical review; it's helping a great deal in to this work! For those who read the first version of the chapter and enjoyed it, thank you! I wasn't pleased with it, myself, because it wasn't following the correct path as I intended.

I rushed through it to try and spit out something because I felt it was necessary to keep the story chugging along. What I really need to focus on is work on realistic character development that also is true to their overall personalities and characteristics. This entire chapter was more or less an outlet for a particularly shitty summer semester, which the. Created a heavily dramatized, terrible AU atmosphere. As I remember it, both the show and the LN series take a quasi-serious approach to the subject of incestuous romance, but do keep it fairly light when stuff isn't necessarily dramatic.

So, those are my thoughts. I'm going to post a little note for those who've read up until now, from before the revisions and let them know what's up. Otherwise, thanks for reading. I hope to keep up the pace and produce good-quality work the first time through.

As always: any and all criticism is welcome. If you see a typo, inconsistency, this-that-or-the-other, just let me know. If it's glaring and needs to be redone entirely, the chapter will be taken down for a rewrite. I'm not going to keep trash posted, but that's just me.

I'm still looking for an Alpha reader for anyone who's interested. Just shoot me a PM and we'll get things set up.

_See You Space Siscon..._

* * *

_Revision #1_, (02Aug14) Pretty much rewrote the chapter. Too much angst and not enough sticking with Kyousuke's character. Still exploring some things, but I'm mostly trying to fix things that were glaringly incorrect with character continuity. It may have turned a little down in the end, but the way I see it? That's how life is. It's ups'n'downs, it's ups'n'downs, it's ups'n'downs...

(Anyone who gets that reference will be forever awesome.)

_Revision #2_, (06Aug14) Just added the phonecall between Kyousuke and Ayase. Also fixed some spelling and grammatical errors. Nothing major.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I **do not** own **Ore no Imōto ga Konna ni Kawaii Wake ga Nai **in any conceivable way. This is a work of fan-made fiction. Obviously.

**Forward**: I'm sorry for the wait, but I'm glad everyone is enjoying this piece as much as they are. Prepping for the next semester and some personal work has been taking up most of my time. And quitting my job has been a factor; "health and nutrition" stores suck to work for, plainly said. Many thanks to **TrowGundam** for the beta reading, he's been a great help with continuity and general story flow. As always: Enjoy!

_This work takes place after the events of the Season 2 finale, and is not an adaptation of the light novel series._

* * *

III

_My Little Sister Can't Be Jealous of My Friends!_

I needed coffee.

The University student's lifeblood.

It was necessary for me to exist as high-functioning human being, now. I'd never touched the stuff when I was in high school, but Mieko got me hooked. It was an interesting addiction—coffee, not Mieko. I liked a rich and bitter flavor, I suppose from my time drinking tea; I wasn't one to overly enjoy sweet drinks. But, I wasn't even sure if Okaa-san had any in the house. I don't remember neither she nor Oji-san drinking coffee. I'd been lucky to bring my own canned coffee drinks and use those as my morning boosters, but I'd tragically run out. Fuck. This was going to be a long week home.

I rose like a zombie, looking at the time.

06:34

"Damnit."

I hadn't slept, just as I'd said.

I pulled my legs out of bed and my feet touched the cool wood on the floor. My brain tried to make sense of last night.

It was pretty obvious what happened, though. There wasn't a real need to make sense of it. Kirino was upset about a lot of things: my distant behavior, my grand entrance, my terrible attempt to immediately fix what was wrong, and my friendship with Mieko... I suppose the question was that if we were normal siblings, why was Kirino so possessive over me? If Kirino _were_ just a normal sister—or been anyone else's sister—she would have just teased me about the attention I was getting from a woman who was just a classmate; in fact, Mieko was proving to a good friend, which was as far as our relationship would probably go. Perhaps Kirino would badger me about signs Mieko might be throwing off. Stuff like that, I guess.

But, Kirino wasn't just any sister. She was _my_ sister. And she wasn't _just_ a sister to me. But, you already knew that.

It wasn't fair to play the game the way Kirino was.

_You can't have me, but you can't have anyone else, either._

My toes spread out over the chilled wooden floor, deciding to focus on that. It was smooth like I remember it. No hints of disrepair or splintering. It felt heads and shoulders better than the Linoleum flooring that was in the dorms. Looked a hell of a lot better, too. I did miss this. These clean, wooden floors. I felt closer to home than I had in days in just that moment.

This was stupid.

With a sigh, I heaved myself up and shuffled to the door. I was still in my sleep clothes. Not that it mattered. I normally never left my dorm without real clothes on. If I did, it was because I didn't wake up to my alarm and had to sprint to classes. The norm was to wear clothes to class and I received strange looks in my mad dash to reach class on time. The boxes stacked in the corners didn't help make my old room feel any less different than a dorm room. I forced myself forward and into my old house.

Kirino's door was still closed. Her light was off.

_Maybe she's still sleeping._

God, I hoped so.

I trudged down the stairs, feeling a little strange. Four months living in a new place reset my understanding of home.

This wasn't my home.

Not anymore.

I reached the bottom of the stairs and slipped into the living room. Oji-san was dressed in his suit, reading the paper at the table. Kirino's and my places were set, though it didn't look as if Okaa-san had readied for either Kirino or I to be up at this time of morning. You know, Christmas Break and all.

"Good morning," I yawned and slipped into my old chair in front of Oji-san.

"Oh! Kyousuke!" Okaa-san said, happily. She turned around from the counter wearing her normal house clothes, her apron darned with splotches of food as she worked. There was something off, though—it was like a strange mood that had enveloped the house since I returned. Even my father was affected. "I didn't think you'd be up this early."

"Ah, no. Couldn't sleep. I'm used to the beds at school."

"Oh, that's a shame," she said, a slight downturn in her voice. What was up? "Would you like anything for breakfast?"

"Yeah, please. That'd be great. You don't happen to have coffee, would you?"

Okaa-san thought for a moment before diving into the fridge. "Well, we don't have a coffee pot, but I did see you were out of your coffee drink. I got you some more yesterday."

_Oh, thank God. _

"Thank you, Okaa-san," I gasped out, relieved.

Oji-san lifted his eyes from the paper to peer over his rimless glasses. It stopped my thoughts in their tracks. There was something behind that dark gaze that I couldn't read. After a long moment, the span of several achingly slow heartbeats, he dropped his newspaper. "Kyousuke. Do you have a moment?"

_Oh, God._

I watched him closely, a icy wave washing over me for a brief moment. It started from my forehead down my neck and into the rest of my body. "Yeah, sure."

"Would you leave us, Okaa-san?" Oji-san said in his deep, ominous voice.

"Oh, sure." My mother washed her hands and dried them off on her apron before shuffling out.

Once the door closed, the man turned his hard stare at me and I thought I was going to get slugged for something I didn't know I'd done. Eventually, he just laced his bear-like paws together, setting them before him in a strange pose for him; in his leisure clothes, he would often take a wide-footed sitting position with a hand and the elbow opposite on his knees. His cold demeanor never changed, though.

"Is school going well?"

"Y-yes, Oji-san."

There was a raised eyebrow. "Old man? What happened to addressing me as your father?"

I nodded slowly. My stomach was doing flips. I _hated_ talking to him; having a one-on-one chat was even worse. "Ah, uh. Y-yes. I apologize, Otou-san."

His gaze never wavered.

"This distance," he sighed after another long bout of silence, "I wonder where it comes from."

I looked at him, confused.

"Oji-san," he clarified. "You called your father Oji-san."

I blushed a little bit. I didn't really remember when I started calling him that.

"I don't feel that we are very close, Kyousuke."

This week's runner-up for Understatement of the Century, everybody.

"...I don't think I understand what you're trying to say."

Oji-san fixed me with a level look. It seemed hostilely passive, but that was just Kousaka Daisuke's face. The man possessed hard and chiseled features from a difficult life full of tough choices—though, I wasn't privy to that history. His intimidating mass, broad and dominating, was amplified by his dark and fitted blue suit. Normally, I would have woken up after he left for the station house, so it was unsettling to see him dressed for the day. No other police station in the Chiba Prefecture had a Lieutenant like my father; Station No. 34 gave him the full respect his position as Squad 34 Sub-Commander required because of his work ethic, tough-as-nails appearance, and no-nonsense attitude. The few times I met police (that I recognized) walking the streets, they were always extra polite; they knew Kirino and I from the very few ceremonies we've attended. Lieutenant Kousaka frightened me, always. Especially when he would watch me without speaking.

It was unnerving.

"You stopped contacting us." His usual matter-of-fact statement.

"...Y-yeah."

"I want to know why."

I had no answer. I felt like a kid who'd be caught red handed stealing sweets; I simply shut off.

"...Well?" he pressed, and I could sense his growing impatience.

I forced my brain to think.

"I-I... Well, I've been really focusing on my studies. I came out with all A's this semester."

"You stopped calling because you were concerned about grades?"

"Yeah."

_You are transparent as fuck, Kyousuke._

Oji-san sighed, as if he were tired. His eyes became lidded slightly and he turned his gaze down to my shirt, obviously in though. He picked up his gaze again. "I don't believe you."

That worked out _so_ well.

"I don't believe you, just like I didn't believe you when you claimed Kirino's...adult video game as your own. Do you know why I haven't torn your sister's room to pieces in search for her...hobby?" I had an idea that the question was rhetorical, so I didn't answer. When the silence stretched on for an uncomfortable length of time, Oji-san sighed again and continued; I guess it hadn't been. "It is because I trust that you have Kirino's best interests at heart. I saw it in your conviction to protect Kirino's privacy, even in the face of adversity. Your out-of-line method of protecting her 'secret' is what saw me strike you, not your claim that you were using Kirino's computer for pornography."

Technically, I did. I guess Okaa-san didn't say anything about that...those incidents.

If anyone was wondering why I felt at least some guilt in dating Kirino, that was the reason right there.

Well...

Then... It made sense, I guess. My calling my father Oji-san. Thinking back on it, I suppose it started after I tried cutting off connection with my parents—no, my father. Okaa-san was an unfortunate casualty in my dishonor. The exact moment when I labeled him such a removed title escapes me, but it must have been in passing when thinking about the Samurai Lord Kousaka. It felt normal to call this man Oji-san. It felt right. To be honest, in all of my nineteen years, I've never understood him. I only knew what was exterior: that oppressively commanding mask that ruled the household with iron and brimstone. My calling him by that new title had become second nature now because it fitted him so well. He wasn't Otou-san. Kousaka Daisuke was Oji-san. Had I not already been quaking at my soul from this interrogation, I suppose I would have been exposing my shame on my already strike features; I've never had a good poker face.

"Kyousuke, you are on the right track to being a man. I believe that it isn't too soon to say that." Oji-san unlaced his fingers and removed his glasses and a soft cloth from in inside pocket to clean the spectacles. "However, your behavior this semester away from our family has your mother and I worried."

I knew I let slip a confused and incredulous look. Okaa-san, I can understand. But, Oji-san? Worried? For me? No. An impossibility. Better yet: flat out lie.

"Do not be so surprised, Kyousuke. You are my son."

Don't remind me.

"Your phone calls, no matter how long or how short, are important to your mother and I. Your mother has very little to discuss now that you have left the household; Kirino is less than forthcoming. At the very least, it lets us know that you are alive. Beyond that, I am interested in your progress. I do have reservations on your career path, but I support your decision."

I couldn't catch my reply before I spoke it. I guess I was too tired. But, it slipped out all the same.

"...Why?"

Oji-san seemed take aback. His eyes widened slightly, the most surprised I'd seen since I claimed responsibility for Kirino's _Love With Little Sister! _disk. He replaced his glasses and set me with those tough eyes. "What father has no interest in his son's life? Your hard work and devotion to this family is admirable, Kyousuke. Something to be proud of. I contemplate the effects of your success and failure, and if I see that I may be able to provide support, I work to see it through. It is the least a father can do for his child.

"As for your career path? I do watch the news. Microsoft's Axe-Box One—" _Wait, what?_ "—has done well. Sony and their Playstation, as well. The papers speak nothing but advancements in technology, much of it developed by video game companies. Some papers have an entire page devoted to game industry news. I would be a fool to think that the electronic entertainment industry was not a potentially lucrative endeavor. You are talented, Kyousuke, and I know that you have the drive to go far. I am behind the technological curve, yes, but I always do my research; I can see a possibly good thing when it presents itself.

"However, I know that many of these...game development studios are also liquidated after a single product despite its popularity. Politics, funding, an incapability to conform to company deadlines, or all three combined often see them disbanded. If I could chose for you, son, I would find a safe job with a guaranteed paycheck. Something that you could rely on for the rest of your life. Your choice of careers worries me, but you are capable of doing great things. That is why I support your decision."

I watched him for a long, long time.

"So, Kyousuke," he continued after a sizable silence, "When I ask you why you stopped contacting us, I expect an answer."

I nodded like a degenerate.

"Why?"

I turned my eyes down. There was a dark can, a Nestlé coffee drink that wasn't too sweet and wasn't too bitter. Condensation beaded on its tin surface and crept down its sides to the wooden tabletop. I hadn't remembered it being placed there. I suppose Okaa-san had dropped it off as she retreated to the hall; she was still there, listening in. I reached out, cracked open the top and took a drink. It was perfect. It almost nearly felt awake. I set the can back down and looked my father in the eye.

"I don't know," I replied with conviction. "I apologize for not speaking to you more frequently, Oj—...Otou-san. I promise, however, when I understand what happened, I will speak to you about it."

I lied through my teeth.

Oji-san's stare did not waver. I could feel those dark eyes burrowing into my soul. Searching for the truth in my lies. I could sense that he knew I was lying. Instead of slugging me in the face, however, he stood, grabbed his brief case beside his chair, and looked at his wristwatch.

"I will allow you time. Time to figure out how to tell me what you are keeping from me. Take all the time in the world, Kyousuke. I will be waiting."

Kousaka Daisuke marched out of the living/dining room and closed the door behind him. There was some murmuring out of the atrium before front door opened and closed. The police Lieutenant had left for work.

* * *

Okaa-san had left to gather groceries for the coming day. When I explained to her that Mieko was coming over, she set me with a sly grin and said she wouldn't be gone long. That was almost two hours ago. Normally, when she said she _won't be long_, she would come back near dinner with the food she would have normally taken two hours to grab. It was embarrassing to know that she immediately expected me to have sex with the girls I welcomed into the house. With Minami when we were still friends, Kuroneko when we were dating summer before last, and now with Mieko—who was nothing but a friend.

Not that I wouldn't have gotten it on given the opportunity, but still.

I was in my old room working on _My Sister's Love Slave_ when I recieved a mail from Mieko. Well, not so much working on as looking over and immediately feeling embarrassed at the one sex scene the girl was going to mention—I knew exactly which one she was talking about. My heart thrummed hard in my chest just with the thought that Mieko had read that particular .txt file.

I got the distinct feeling she knew I was a virgin.

Not that there was anything wrong with being one, but my obvious lack of knowledge in said field amplified my discomfiture tenfold.

_Is your house centered on the block?_ Mieko wrote. A second text appeared before I could answer with my address.

_Yeah, that's it_, I sent back.

_Cool, I'm here._

I was dying inside from anxiety. Why did she want to work on these text adventures so badly? They were my private little babies that were never meant to see the light of day; especially _My Sister's Love Slave_. Mieko only confessed to looking over the program itself; I had no idea what she'd seen and thought. I was exploring some things for myself, things that would have certainly given me the Mark of Death from Ayase and leave Kirino wondering what kind of pervert I was. Mieko was certain to come across them and that threatened to make my skull burst in a geyser of blood.

I made sure I was dressed properly—jeans, plane t-shirt, my house slippers—before I went to meet her.

_Bzzz._

I smiled slightly, marching down the stairs.

The living room door opened and Kirino stepped into the atrium. "Coming!" she called out before reaching the door.

Oh, God. No. _Noooooo._

She opened the door just as I'd rushed to the first floor.

Mieko looked down at her with surprise and a beautiful smile. She was as I remembered: deep, sun-kissed skin; flashing green eyes; long, dark hair... Though, if I had to describe her body, it would be similar to Saori's. She was done growing and possessed a perfectly proportioned waist to her larger-than-average bust, amazing hips which were wide without being too wide nor too narrow, and curvaceous ass. She couldn't be all Japanese—no, there had to be some Latin American blood in there. Mieko was dressed in a heavy gray pea-coat; neck swaddled in a colorful scarf; pair of washed out, light blue skinny jeans; and some large, and colorful sneakers that allowed her jeans to sink right inside—Vans was also stenciled over the sides. She liked her American fashion, she once explained. Mieko had also done her hair in a small bump with the rest pulled into a high ponytail.

Why did I pay so much attention to girls' fashion? ...Don't be stupid, it's because that's what's on their bodies.

"Oh, hi. You must be Kirino?" Mieko said, cheerily.

"Who are you?" Kirino's voice was instantly cold. Her posture was stiff, and unwelcoming. Mieko either didn't notice or care.

"Aha, I apologize. I'm Tachibana Mieko." She gave a small bow, mostly through craning her neck downward. "Your brother's told me a lot of you."

Slowly, Kirino's eyes turned to me, letting loose beams of intense anger to burrow into my body.

_Shit—exactly like Oji-san!_

I let loose a nervous laugh that matched my expression. "Ah, sorry Kirino. Yeah, I forgot to tell you: Mieko was coming over today."

If she could, I'd bet money that Kirino would shoot lasers from her eyes to kill me.

"I see," she replied with acid. She returned her turquoise eyes back on Mieko. She slammed the door in Mieko's face and headed up the stairs toward her room.

"Kirino!" I groaned. I reached the door quickly and opened the door. "I'm sorry," I said quickly, ushering for Mieko to come in, "she isn't the greatest with guests."

The woman fixed me with sly grin and knowing eyes. "I can see where your inspiration for your tsundere girls come from."

_Oh, God, strike me down where I stand._

"Eh, yeah," I replied flustered rubbing the back of my head after I'd firmly closed the door. "Personal experience."

"Mm-hmm."

I fixed her with a suspicious look. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, nothing," she answered in a singsong voice.

My suspicious look became even more suspicious. _Nothing_ meant _something_ in Woman. What she was alluding to, I didn't know. A voice in the back of my head nagged me as to what it was, and I felt that it could be right, but all I ended up doing was ignoring it. That something was I didn't want to accept from Mieko.

She shed her pea-coat, arching her back slightly to try and work her arms out of the thick sleeves. My eyes immediately snapped down to her most noticeable womanly features of their volition. Damn. Those things were round. And big. Definitely not only Japanese; she had to be half something else. I had to force my eyes back to her face before anything embarrassing happened. When she was finally free, she handed me her coat and that same sly grin. I took it and place it on the coat hangers on the wall above the shoe drawers.

"What?"

"I'm going to have to keep an eye on you, Kyousuke. Make sure you don't do anything stupid." Her grin turned into a full-blown smile and I couldn't help but smile with her. She put me at peace so easily, it was like she didn't even need to try.

"Want something to drink?" I asked, heading for the kitchen. Barley tea called out to me in a moment that I least expected.

"I'll have what you're having," Mieko chirped.

We walked into the living room, through the dining room, and into the kitchen. We exchanged small talk about how Christmas Break was going, what we planned for the rest of it, and how we equally had mixed feelings about the coming Spring Break. When the tea was poured, we headed out and up into my room.

"Don't be too disgusted," I grinned, opening my door. "Okaa-san and Oji-San turned my room into an extra storage locker.

"_N-nii-san! D-don't... Not there!_"

No.

"_Haah... Haah..._"

"_N-n..._"

My eyes locked onto my pink laptop.

"_Niiiiiiii-saaaaan!_"

A certain two people were fucking on my screen. A blonde-haired girl and a dark haired boy. The girl was arched over the coffee table, her blue eyes glazed over with pleasure and beautiful face reddened with her lovemaking. The boy was lost in his own world thrusting into her oblivious to the omnipresent viewer that was you. Their bodies were naked and made of perfection, only covered in glistening sweat. The noises were wet. Camera was shaking. It was finely done anime artwork turned sexual deviance. And in only a few moments, the beautiful artwork exploded into a mutually shared orgasm that rocked the screen and sent the pixels into beautiful cascading colors of bliss and sunshine.

What was it, you ask?

One of the least explicit sex scene from _Schoolgirl❤Sister_. Note that I said _least_.

Kirino knew how to pick 'em.

"Get a little bored waiting for me?" Mieko sniggered.

I gaped.

I scrambled forward, arching my back forward to try to take up all the screen as the incestuous lovers were replaced by text and a very worn out heroine. I was just grateful that there wasn't any voices reading over the text that came up.

"No need to hide your true form, Kyousuke!" Mieko laughed, rushing up with me to drape an arm over my shoulders and trying to see the screen.

"N-no—"

"Oooh, I didn't know these games could get so dirty! Oooh, _kinky!_ You went the b—"

"_Shuddupshuddupshuddupshuddup!_"

I fumbled with the controls, trying to keep Mieko at bay. No matter what I could do, it looked like I couldn't even control the options or the mouse. Mieko's hands gripped my shoulders, trying to pull me away. When that didn't work, she tried grappling with me to get me away from my computer. Laughing, she ended up crushing her body against mine and I could feel how big her...assets really were.

Not good.

* * *

That... _Asshole!_

He asked her here?!

I couldn't believe how angry I was. I was shuddering with the thought of her even being in his room. That he was even friends with such a hottie! I hated her instantly: she was taller than me, had a darker tan than me, had bigger _boobs_ than me! I hated to admit that the list went for a lot, lot longer than that. And, the way he looked at her was infuriating! All _goo-goo eyed _like a perverted idiot. _Grah_, it made me want to smash his face! He wasn't the only target, oh-no. I wanted to claw miss-supertits' eyes out. But, the blood would be hard to clean up and Okaa-san would be home soon. Hopefully. Otou-san would be able to find the bodies easily. Wow, how'd it get to murder?

Anyway, I'd left a little present for my brother and his friend. He didn't have any porn around, but his computer had been left unlocked. The idiot. In only a few moments, I minimized all of his work and pulled up _Schoolgirl❤Sister_.

Once Kyousuke and Mieko found my little surprise, I'd headed down to the kitchen with a smug smile on my face. I had the most pressing need for some barley tea. After claiming my prize, I returned upstairs.

I reached Kyousuke's door, on which his plack still hung, a little tilted, though.

"How do you like _those_ tits, eh, Kyousuke?" I murmured with my little kitten-smile.

I'm just so _bad_ I love it!

I took a nice draw of my victory tea.

"_Kyousukeeee, I just want to see how _bad _you are!_"

"Gurh—" I spat the tea out onto his door.

"_H-hey! Don't do that!_"

There was some loud shuffling.

"_No! I wanna see!_"

"_Mieko, stop!_"

"_If you keep fighting, it's only going to get more fun! You should just let it happen._"

"Whuh-whuh..." I whimpered, eyes wide and my chin dribbling with barley tea.

More loud shuffling.

"_Mieko! Stooop!_"

"_No! Not until you show me._"

"**Gaaaaah!**"

I sprinted the rest of the way to my room and slammed the door, diving onto my bed and burying my head under my covers.

Well, it would seem my plan backfired.

The noises stopped in Kyousuke's room. Someone opened his door. There were a few long moments before I heard walking. I could tell it was Kyousuke by the weight of his steps. I don't know how I remembered that, but...it was easy to tell his footsteps. My idiot brother knocked on my door.

"Kirino...? Why is there tea all over my door?"

_Oh, shit._

"W-why do you think?" I snapped.

"...Did you spit on my door?"

"No, you idiot!"

"It looks like someone spit on my door."

I could feel my face explode into a blush. "God, what's your obsession with me?"

"Ok, ok, you didn't spit on my door. I'll clean it up. But, you should clean the trail of tea leading under your door."

His heavy steps started back to his room and I wrenched my head out from under the pillow. I'd spilled and splashed barley tea all the way into my room.

_Damnit._

He closed his door. I didn't hear another word out of them until she left.

Supertits.

Fuckin' bitch.

* * *

"_Um, Kirino... Not that I don't want to speak about...Mieko, but I'm wondering if there was... I-I was hoping that there would be a little more pleasantness for our first call in a while._"

I sighed, rolling from my front to my back to stretch. My bed was so soft. "...Yeah. No, I understand."

"_Thank you_," Saori said, a smile in her voice. "_How are you and your brother doing?_"

I bit my lip, scowling at the ceiling.

"_...Is the situation that bad?_"

"I don't want to talk about him," I murmured.

"_Oh... Christmas is in a few days, so that means his break from school is almost up, isn't it? Then he's back to university._ _What'll you do if he tries to be distant again?_"

"What does it matter?"

Saori made a sad noise. I ignored it.

"_Oh! Before I forget! I found another one of Dance-Dance Lilly's doujinshi._"

My ears picked up at that.

Dance-Dance Lilly had become a new staple in my life. I'd picked up a doujinshi called _Onii-chan Help My Feelings_. Surprisingly, the cover art was done by the same person who drew and wrote the story. It was a one-shot, but it was so well written and ended on a perfect note—no plotholes to speak of—so I added a new artist/author to my list of people to watch. When Saori found more of her work, I jumped into a world of romance that at most times wasn't as cheesy as eroge. Hey, I still love my eroge, but I think my tastes are becoming more refined, much like my natural grace. I guess I understand why I was so head-over-heels with Dance-Dance Lilly's work: She produced work that I was...experiencing personally. A lot of her stuff dealt with an Onii-chan that was just like Kyousuke, and a little sister that was just as difficult as me. (Praise me, I'm being honest.) Mostly, she worked on the Onee-chan/Ototo-kun pairing, and while it was amazing, those pieces didn't reflect my current situation. Everything she did was well drawn and the stories were driving, exciting, sad, emotional, and closely followed my and Kyousuke's life events almost hour by hour, page by page. Sometimes they were pretty mild. ...Mostly, they were really, really raunchy—it was clear that she may have wanted something from a certain someone, something I couldn't even admit aloud to myself. Such strength.

My eyes kinda glazed over and I could feel a little spit sliding down my lips. "_Kirino?_"

I scrambled to recompose myself. "U-uh, so what's this one about?"

"_Well...it's a bit odd, actually._"

I arched an eyebrow to no one in particular. "...Odd?"

"_You don't know the artist do you?_"

"No?"

"_Well, it looks like you and Kyousuke are on the cover._"

I would if I could arch my eyebrow anymore, but the damn thing would probably fall off. "...What?"

"_Are you by your computer? Look up _TSUNDERExSIS_._"

I hopped up off of my bed and scrambled into the internet. My search was short. Apparently this woman was quite popular already. _TSUNDERExSIS_ was the first option on the autofill. I pressed enter and gaped.

There we were, Kyousuke and I (hair clips and all), plastered all over the front of this doujinshi. It'd come out not three weeks ago and was already selling like hotcakes. The position was where I should be, standing over my brother with my foot planted firmly square on his back. It was an downward shot, my eyes looking off behind me, uncertain; like I was trying to keep him from seeing my emotions. He was cringing with a goofy face, arms and legs splayed and twitching. And there, pressed into the upper right hand corner was an ominous symbol: R18.

My face grew cold. "R-rating...e-eight-teen?"

Saori didn't say anything, but I bet she was putting on her Sensai glasses.

"_Ah, but Kiririn-shi! Dost thou not see the perfection in such work?_"

Called it.

"What are you talking about?!" I shouted.

"_Doesn't thou wish to see what could be?_"

"...Have you read it?"

"_That isn't important, my friend!_"

"What did you see?"

The doorbell rang.

"Is that the mail?" Kirino asked no one in particular.

"_Why doesn't thou investigate for thy self?_" Saori laughed in her typical over-the-top fashion while I gaped. Again. She would know; she had the shipping invoice.

"You didn't."

She made a pleased noise. "_Now, my dearest friend, I must be off. Adventures await and they shan't adventure themselves. Farewell!_"

"Saori!"

_Beep-beep._

I heard my brother's door open and close.

"I've got it, Kirino," he called out.

_Oh._

_Oh, no._

I could feel the blood drain from my face as his heavy footfalls, the ones I'd come to memorizing again, made their lazy journey down the steps. Each _thump_ was almost too loud. Saori had a nasty habit of sending packages to me under my brother's name, and after that incident with Kyousuke, my friends, and myself almost two—no, three—years ago, she'd stopped sending it in makeup boxes. Locked into place, I was forced to hear pleasantries between my Aniki and the mailman. I screamed at myself to move. _Kyousuke was going to think it was his_.

I heard Kyousuke say goodbye, and I found the power to move. I exploded off of my bed toward victory.

I tripped over the rug and landed face down, arms splayed across the floor. I pushed myself up and surge onward.

Into my small coffee table. The tumble sent me into the door with a slam. Stuff I'd laid out to get to my stash cascaded around me.

Again, I rose, much like Umibozu rising from the depths and tossing about ships in its power, from my heap of stuff and wrenched open the door. I tried to push past my rolling bookshelf, but it pinned me into the door frame.

_Rrrrrrrrrip._

The tape.

I pushed back on my bookshelf and escaped into the hallway. I slid into the wall, my socks providing no traction for the floor, but I was able to bounce off and bound down the stairs. Kyousuke's shadow reached from the front door, across the stairs as I made my last, mad dash.

"No! That's mi—"

Kyousuke stared at a brand new copy of _TSUNDERExSIS_. His face was calm, smiling even a little. But his eyes were blank.

I could feel myself dying inside.

"H-hey, Kyousuke. Did you hear me?"

There was another bout of silence that made my heart throb.

"Hey, Kirino."

"Y-yeah?"

He turned his gaze from the graphic novel, still smiling. His hand trembled a little, the box slowly slipping from his grasp to drop to the floor.

"Why... Why are... Why are we on the cover...of an adult doujinshi?"

"H-huh?"

Kyousuke, with trembling hands, started to open the book.

"Don't open it!" I snapped, my heart racing. "I-It's not wh-what it look like."

"I'm not sure how it doesn't look like we have a graphic about an indecent relationship between us."

"I-indecent?!" I balked. "I-it's not like that's the only title!"

"This is a series?!"

"W-what? No! There's another!"

His mouth fell open, eyes wide and pupils pinpointed. Why had I brought Kururu-san's work into this? I hadn't meant to say that. It's...not like I'd read _Sister's Wish, Brother's Command_—well, no, I had. That was a blatant lie. I more so devoured it when I finally made myself to open the cover. It brought back feelings I hadn't had in a month. Oh, God—that _twinge_.

It was back.

"Wh-wh-wh..." Kyousuke stuttered. "_WHY ARE WE THE SUBJECT OF TWO R18 DOUJINSHI?!_"

Oh, shit.

The twinge wouldn't leave.

This fighting was like from back before. From when my brother lived with us. It... It felt good. Great, even. There was a warmth filling my chest that hadn't been there since before Kyousuke started ignoring me. My heart was throbbing under my breast like it used to. The scary part? I still loved it as much as back then. It was like we were close again. But, that twinge...that heat and twitch down...down—w-well, where wasn't important. What mattered was that it was a new development.

And it embarrassed me to tears.

What does Embarrassed Kirino do? What Embarrassed Kirino does best:

I squealed, snatching the doujinshi out of Kyousuke's hand. "_**YOUPERVERTEDIDIOT**_," I screeched, swinging my foot high into his face.

My brother crashed into the shoe cabinet with a _GAAH_. I'm sure he caught our shoes and Okaa-san's and Otou-san's house slippers with his face. That stuff'll be fine. It was my embarrassment that needed saving.

In only a few leaps, I slammed the door shut and burrowed into my into my pillows and plushies.

I wanted to die and explore this new development at the same time. Tonight. Maybe...maybe tonight.

"Idiot Aniki," I mumbled into my pillows, clutching _TSUNDERExSIS_ close to my chest. "Why do you do this to me?"

* * *

My heart was racing. Breath short. I stared at Kyousuke's doorknob, hand hovering over the fake brass coloring. My fingers quivered. God, why was I so nervous!

It wasn't as hard the night before last when I'd woken him up.

He was so handsome; I mean he was before, too, but he'd grown up in four months in a way I didn't expect. That hair was starting to look a little shaggy, but it looked nice. Any longer and I'd have to make him cut it. Kyousuke was starting to lose a little of his high school softness. Maybe he was running again. What else could he do other than school work and play my eroge?

That Miura was too much the otaku for sports and wouldn't be the sort to get out there and run. It must have been someone I didn't know.

Who was this man sleeping behind this door?

I stiffened my resolve and opened the door as quietly as I could. It swung open on its hinges to expose the objective. Even now, at sixteen, I played as a covert operative. I took small steps, rolling my feet from heel to toe to reduce noise.

It wasn't until I was standing over my brother that I was able to actually look over his features that I thought I'd known. Yeah, his hair was on the verge of being too long. If only I could stop it here. His face wasn't so round anymore. Like Otou-san's, his features were becoming more clear-cut. I suppose masculine was an appropriate word. His body was hidden from view and I momentarily wondered what his body looked like without clothes. I blushed, but didn't turn away. I hooked a finger round his sheets and pulled them off of him. Kyousuke was still lean, but I guess there was a difference from before. Even with his body was obscured by his sleep clothes, he didn't look nearly as soft as when he was still in high school. I wanted to see more despite myself.

God, I was such pervert.

Kyousuke rolled onto his back, as he always did when I pulled back his covers; I think he does that because he hates it when his back is cold. I crawled over him, but against my better judgement, I...I sat down on him again. I liked it. I wanted to do it.

Guilty pleasures, eh?

I hadn't thought about it when I sat down on him, but... He was a man, now, huh? With male desires. And, I was becoming a woman, filled with desires that girls weren't supposed to have (apparently). I had them all the same.

A small breath escaped my lips when I felt the mass of his groin press against me—my nexus. Like I wanted it to be. It was hot and made me shudder. I distributed my weight over his chest, and I allowed myself to take fistfuls of his shirt as I imagined a perfect world. That twinge... Oh, it was back harder than before and I felt the exhilaration of arousal. My thighs clenched against his hips and pinned him underneath me, locking his body against mine. I restrained myself before I could do any more damage. I was only a shift away from...grinding...on...

Come back, Kirino. Come back.

He didn't wake up at all.

_God, you sleep like the dead._

I entertained so many thoughts, some of which sent me into a deeper blush and racing thoughts. This was the closest I dared to completing my fantasies.

Was I ready to ruin this moment?

I needed to talk to my Aniki.

I had too.

I cocked my hand back, contemplating on whether or not to wake him as I was. No. Not tonight. Maybe in another life I could. Awaken him with my body pressed against him as a lover would. But... No. Not tonight.

I picked myself up off of Kyousuke, cocking my hand back once more.

_**Smack!**_

"_Urk—!_"

Kyousuke shuddered and blinked, trying to understand what was happening. He was always so cute when I slapped him into consciousness. When his eyes finally cleared of the pain I caused, he took on an annoyed look. Just like when he floundered into the real world, he was so cute when I riled him up.

"What the hell." He sucked in a breath between clenched teeth. But, his eyes softened, expression more welcoming. I wasn't sure why...but he sucked the breath right from my lungs.

"Life..." I tried.

I forced myself to stare directly into his eyes. His gaze had been different for a long time and it sent shivers through me. It was enough to make me turn away; his looks we're only becoming more intense. I wouldn't be afraid to look at him anymore just because I loved him more than when I confessed after him last Chrismas. Had it only been a year since we vocalized our feelings? How had it come to this? I gathered my courage to push forward, all the same.

"L-life counseling."

Kyousuke nodded without a word, a small smile forming on his lips.

— Ω —

* * *

**Author's Note**: Holy shit, guys I am so sorry for not pumping this out sooner. With school starting and other things on my plate, I've been struggling with getting this stuff put together. I'm super trying to get this entire story on the road, but along with school, I've also been given an opportunity to join a research team. So, life is a bit busy.

Again, I apologize and hope you enjoyed this latest installment.

_See You Space Siscon..._


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